聞

過

怒

，

聞

譽

喜

wen

guo

nu

wen

yu

xi

聽到

過錯

生氣

聽到

讚美

歡喜

hearing

faults

to get angry

hearing

praise

to be happy

假如聽到別人說自己的過錯就生氣，聽到別人對自己讚美就歡喜。
If we are angry when told of our faults, and happy when praise comes our way.

損

友

來

，

益

友

卻

sun

you

lai

yi

you

que

有害的

朋友

來到

有益

朋友

退開

harmful

friends

to come

beneficial

friends

to depart

那麼壞的朋友就會包圍上來，好的朋友就會遠遠離去。
Then harmful friends will draw near us, and wholesome friends will depart.

聞

譽

恐

，

聞

過

欣

wen

yu

kong

wen

guo

xin

聽到

讚美

恐慌

聽到

過錯

高興

hearing

praise

to be anxious

hearing

faults

to delight

假如聽到別人的讚美就惶恐，聽到別人的批評就高興。
If compliments make us uneasy, and we are glad when our faults are brought up.

直

諒

士

，

漸

相

親

zhi

liang

shi

jian

xiang

qin

正直

誠信

知識份子

漸漸

前來

親近

upright

honest

a gentleman or learned person

gradually

come forward

to draw near

那麼正直誠信的有識之士，就會漸漸地前來親近。
Honest and straightforward friends then gradually come to our side.

孔子在去世以前，就對曾參分析說﹕「我死了之後，子夏會一直進步，子貢會一直退步。」曾子奇怪地問﹕「為什麼呢？」孔子說﹕「子夏喜歡和比自己強的人在一起；子貢則喜歡處身在一群不如自己的人之間，好大發議論。我聽說﹕想瞭解一個人，可以從他的父親、朋友來觀察；想瞭解一個君王，可以從他委派的使者來觀察；想瞭解一塊土地的性質，可以從生長的草木來觀察。

Before his death, Confucius said to his disciple Zeng Seng, "After I die, Zi Xia will keep making progress, but Zi Gong will keep regressing." Zeng Seng thought this strange and asked, "Why will that be?" Confucius replied, "Zi Xia likes to be around people who are better than he is, while Zi Gong likes to be surrounded by people who are not as good as he is so that he can always express his own opinions. I have heard it said that one can understand a person by observing his parents and friends; one can understand a ruler by observing the people he appoints, one can evaluate a piece of land by seeing what vegetation grows on it.

所以說﹕『跟好人在一起，像走入種植蘭花的花房一樣，久了就感覺不到香氣；與不好的人相處，就像跑到魚市場一樣，久了也就感覺不到腥臭。』這是因為我們在無形中已受其感染，於是乎對周遭的環境不知不覺了！跟紅顏料放在一起的東西會染紅，跟黑漆擺在一起的東西會變黑，所以君子對身邊相處的人，一定會慎重地加以選擇。」這故事的意思，不只是告誡我們要慎交友，尤其是明明白白地指出﹕自己是個怎樣的人，就會招致怎樣的朋友。所謂「龍交龍，鳳交鳳，老鼠的兒子會打洞。」就是這個意思。

 Therefore it is said, "Associating with virtuous people is like entering a greenhouse full of orchids and getting used to the fragrance until you no longer notice it. Being around unwholesome people is like going into a fish market and getting used to the stench so that you don't notice it." Imperceptibly, we are influenced by our surroundings until we no longer notice them. Objects that are placed in red dye become red; things dipped in black paint turn black. Therefore, a superior person is careful in choosing the people with whom he associates. "Confucius' meaning is not only that we should be careful about our associations, but also we attract people of like character to be our friends. There's another saying, "Dragons like to be with dragons, phoenixes prefer the company of phoenixes, and the sons of mice know how to make holes." That's the meaning here.

三國時代諸葛亮的〈前出師表〉，是一篇感人至深的文章，在中國歷史上、文學上，都有其不容忽視的地位。這篇〈出師表〉，完成於諸葛亮病死軍中的前七年。劉備去世後，諸葛亮繼續輔佐其子後主劉禪，經過五年的整治，內政已定，諸葛亮覺得可以親自率兵出征了；臨行，終究是放心不下後主，就上了這篇疏。「出師表」通篇重點，都是在勉勵後主「不宜妄自菲薄，引喻失義，以塞忠諫之路。」並引歷史為證，告誡後主；先漢之所以興隆，是因為「親賢臣，遠小人」；後漢之所以傾頹，是因為「親小人，遠賢臣」。末了，他又一再殷殷盼望後主「亦宜自課，以諮諏善道，察納雅言」。

During the Three Kingdoms Period, the military strategist Zhu-ge Liang wrote a profoundly inspiring memorial to the emperor before he departed on a military expedition; this is a text of undeniable importance in Chinese history and literature. This memorial was completed seven years before Zhu-ge Liang died of illness while serving the military, After the death of Emperor Liu Bei, Zhu-ge Liang continued to support his son, Emperor Liu Chan. In five years the government was stabilized, and Zhu-ge Liang felt he could now personally lead the army on an expedition. However, right before his departure, he was still worried about Emperor Liu Chan and wrote this memorial. The text basically urged the emperor, "Do not take yourself lightly and recklessly say things that will make others lose faith in you, which will discourage their faithful exhortations." The memorial mentions the following case from the Book of History to caution the emperor: The Former Han Dynasty flourished because the rulers "associated with worthy officials and stayed away from petty individuals." The Later Han Dynasty declined because the rulers "associated with petty people and stayed away from worthy officials." At the end of the memorial, Zhu-ge Liang again exhorted the emperor, "You should reflect well, so that you will be able to seek wholesome principles and to determine and accept good advice."

這意思和前面所說的「不宜妄自菲薄」是一樣的，都是希望後主不要看輕自己，就隨隨便便地引用一些不合道理的例子，胡說八道，以致於令人不敢進言；唯有自己多多考察，來訪尋謀求好的道理，明察接納忠臣們正當的勸告，才能得賢人擁護，光大祖業。句句出自肺腑，言之諄諄，可惜後主終究是個「扶不起的阿斗」；阿斗是劉禪的小名，諸葛亮死後，他就忘了告誡，盡和一班弄臣諛臣鬼混，終至亡國。

 The meaning is the same as the line, "Do not take yourself lightly and recklessly say things that will make others lose faith in you, which will discourage their faithful exhortations." Zhu-ge Liang hoped the emperor would not casually speak in an unprincipled way that would make others afraid to exhort him, but would instead reflect carefully in order to seek out good principles and look into and accept the exhortations of loyal officials. Then he would win the support of worthy people and bring glory to his ancestors' legacy. Zhu-ge Liang's advice was earnest and came from his heart. Regretfully, the emperor was still the " A’dou who could not stand on his own feet." (A’dou was his nickname). After Zhu-ge Liang's death, the emperor forgot his advice and surrounded himself with flattering courtiers, with the result that the dynasty ended.

一般人總說自己願意聽真話，其實不盡然。因為真話多半平實無奇，甚至不怎麼中聽。尤其這真話若是在指陳他的過錯，那他更會受不了，於是乎阿諛諂媚之辭就產生了！人就把諛辭當真話，陶陶然而不覺，反把規過勸善的真話當做是破壞和譭謗，因而怒不可遏。所以說「物以類聚」，大凡愛聽好話的人，招來的也必定是巧言令色，偽善飾非的朋友，專事吹、拍、捧、騙，這就是「損友」；與損友交遊，不論是對自己的人格、道德、學問，甚至在實質的金錢事業上，都只有損害而無益處的。反之，一個願意接受勸誡的人，就會招來益友。

Most people say that they wish to hear the truth, but that isn't really the case. The truth is usually very plain and ordinary, or perhaps not very pleasant to hear. When the truth takes the form of pointing out their faults, people find it unbearable. That's how flattery developed! People love to hear flattery and take it to be the truth, while they are enraged to hear earnest remonstrance and regard it as malicious slander. So it is said, "People gather with their own kind." People who like to hear praise attract hypocritical friends who butter up to them, flatter them, and put them on a pedestal with their smooth lies. These are harmful friends. Associating with harmful friends can only be detrimental to one's character, morality, learning, and even materially to one's wealth and career. Conversely, one who is able to accept exhortations will attract beneficial friends.

那益友的標準又是什麼呢？「友直、友諒、友多聞」是也，也就是說要交往正直、信實，又能規過勸善的善知識。善知識不是呼之即來，揮之即去的；我們若不能先自律自愛，怎能得到肝膽相照的善知識常相左右？有善知識常相左右，不但自己也成為正直信實的人，在道德、學問、事業各方面，也必定日日增上。那時，真是「與諸上善人聚會一處」了！豈不美哉快哉?

What are the criteria for a beneficial friend? A beneficial friend is "a friend who is straightforward, forgiving, and erudite." That is, he is a good mentor who is straightforward and reliable in his dealings, and who is able to exhort others to change their faults. A good mentor is not that easy to come by. If you do not first discipline yourself and have self-respect, how can you expect to have a good mentor who will constantly be around and with whom you can have heart-to-heart talks? If such a good mentor is always present, you will not only become straightforward and trustworthy yourself, but will also advance in your moral virtue, your knowledge, and your career as well. That would truly be a case of "gathering together with people of superior virtue" [Amitabha Sutra]. How happy and wonderful that would be!

其實，他人的建議，也不一定常是不中聽的話，有時還真會讓人有出人意表的收穫呢！像美國第十六任總統林肯，誰都會對他一臉的鬍子印象很深刻吧？你可知是誰建議林肯留的鬍子？這是一個很有趣的小故事。

In reality, other people's suggestions may not be all that un- pleasant to hear, and they sometimes bring unexpected results. Everyone is familiar with Abraham Lincoln, the Sixteenth U.S. President who sported a full beard. Do you know who suggested that he grow a beard? It's quite an amusing anecdote.

當林肯在競選總統時，有一天他接到一個小女孩的信，信上說﹕「林肯先生，如果你能留些鬍子，一定會使你那瘦長的臉變得好看些。祝你勝利！」林肯接受了建議，把鬍子留起來；沒想到這個新形象居然大受歡迎，成了林肯的「註冊商標。」林肯當選總統之後，在赴白宮就職的途中，特地在這小女孩住的城市停下，發表演說。演說完畢，林肯在人山人海中，把小女孩請出來，並溫柔地對她說﹕「謝謝妳的勸告。妳看！我現在已經有了鬍子了！」並用那有鬍子的嘴，親了一下小女孩的臉；小女孩高興得漲紅了臉，幾乎忘了把帶來的鮮花獻給林肯。

One day when Lincoln was running for President, he received a letter from a young girl. The letter said, "Mr. Lincoln, if you grew a beard, it would make your long, thin face look better. Hope you win!" Lincoln took the suggestion to heart and let his beard grow. His new appearance was unexpectedly popular and soon became his trademark. After Lincoln was elected, he made a special point of stopping in the little girl's town on his way to the White House. After delivering a speech there, Lincoln invited that little girl to come forward from the crowd and warmly said to her, "Thank you for your suggestion. See? I have a beard now!" Then he gave her a kiss on the face with his bearded mouth. The little girl blushed happily and almost forgot to give Lincoln the bouquet of flowers she had brought.