Today I want to tell everybody a story of a little girl and her mother. Her mother starved her, yelled at her, tortured her in all sorts of ways. “Aha! She must be a stepmother,” you may think. However, that is incorrect. The mother is the little girl’s birth mom, her biological mother. Now, the little girl has escaped the darkness for six years already. But she still cannot forget the past and the deep scar at the bottom of her heart.
When she was two years old, the little girl came with her mother to the United States for her mother to pursue a Master’s Degree. They lived together for three years. The three years were dark and nebulous. The only thing that she could remember was her mother’s constant yelling and scolding. At the time, she didn’t know what to do. She did not know how to express her inner feelings. Thus, she expressed them through behavior and actions. She frequently threw tantrums, kicked, cried and yelled. The harsher her mother became, the louder the little girl cried.
After the mother completed her Master’s degree, they went back to Taiwan and reunited with the father. A professor dad and a mom with a Master’s sounds like some modern version of fairytales. The stories always end in “and together, they lived happily ever after…” but that was not how it was in reality. Mother often fought with father and vented her anger at the girl. Her mother blamed all the misfortunes on the little girl. Everything was the girl’s fault.
When the girl turned 10 years old, her father decided after much thinking, to take her away from her mother. She finally escaped from her mother but the shadow of the past still clung to her, always following her. “I can forgive my mother. I can do this,” the girl always said to herself. One day she realized she couldn’t persuade herself, so she went to find a teacher. Upon hearing the girl’s story, the teacher asked, “When we say forgive; it often implies that we put ourselves in a higher position then others. In other words, it’s like saying the person we want to forgive is completely wrong and we are a hundred percent right, isn’t it?” The girl thought for a moment. She had always thought of her mother from a little kid’s perspective. When she was younger, her mother seemed like a dangerous person, always ready to explode like a volcano. After some reflection on this, she began crying. Along with the stream of tears came the hurt, the pain. She remembered her mother’s story.
Her mother’s father loved to gamble, drink and smoke. Thus he was deeply in debt. In the end he became a wanted fugitive, always having to hide away. Her mother’s mother had to work very hard to take care of her three kids. Even though the girl’s mother was ranked number one in school, all her classmates would make fun of her, saying that she was the daughter of a fugitive. After junior high, her mother went to school in the city. However, she still was looked down upon. Her first boyfriend dumped her in front of his family also because of this reason. Life was hard. But she still did her best, taking care of her two younger brothers and sending money home whenever possible. She was a very strong woman, and later on married. Perhaps because she wanted very much to protect the marriage and have a wonderful family, it turned out to be the opposite. Finally, she was divorced; her child left her—the whole dream had ended.
Enduring so much hardship and still managing to raise her daughter was not easy. Thus, the little girl made a decision. She decided that when she grows up, has the ability, and is no longer afraid, she will go to find her mother and help her… why? Because she still loves the world’s greatest mother, her mother.
Thank you for listening to this story about me and my mother.