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BODHI FIELD

永不放棄玄奘法師給我的啟示
Never Give Up!
How Dharma Master Hsuan Tsang Inspired Me

方慧怡 文 培德女中九年級 by Jessica Fong (9th grader Developing Virtue Secondary School)
方紹榮 中譯 Chinese Translated by Fred Fong

唐三藏與其伙伴,他們
忍受遙遠旅程的艱辛
從事他人做不到的事情
歷經嚴寒酷暑與妖魔成群,
他們只是繼續前進
為你我帶回來佛經

誰是唐玄奘?

他是一位法師、一位修行者、一位朝聖者、一位探險家、一位教育家;他是那種即使遇到難以克服而無人支助的怪事,也不自挑戰前退卻的人;他,是我的榜樣。

我今年十四歲,目前就讀於萬佛聖城的寄宿學校。在其他事務當中,寄宿本身就是一種挑戰──我住在一個沒法上網、沒有電視的宿舍,每個人都受到老師們嚴密的管教,而且我們每天都得上晚課。至少說,我曾經難以適應這種生活;雖然到現在這第二個年頭,我已學得完全習慣於一切了!但事實上,在聖城的生活,沒什麼是可以讓人好好做事前準備的──緊密安排的時間表、素食之外別無他物可吃、常照看自己以免犯規的要求、學習跟其他同學相處(這可比表面看來更不容易得多);最重要的,就是沒有父母可以倚靠的孤獨感。

在城裏,你必須經常跟人協商,每個人都要互助合作來完成工作,並使事情順利進行。跟二十多個女孩子同住一起,每個人有自己的性格和處世態度,更別說還有老師、宿舍媽媽、女法師跟在家眾;這令你深自反省:某某很煩人,我希望我不是像那樣子…那個人可真好,我就是要像她那樣…某某在生我的氣,我想我有時是不是真的那麼壞?我應該改一改!

我應該改……

學校裏,我們必須背〈弟子規〉,一本教我們做好學生、好兒女、好人的中國古書。〈弟子規〉所著重的道理之一,就是孝道。它教導我們學生,當父母呼喚的時候,必須立刻回應;對父母的讚美與責備,要恭敬承受;即使父母不愛我,我還要愛他們;甚至在父母睡前,先躦進父母的被窩去溫被褥。

坦白說,在我小時候,對做那類事情的思想,我一定會聽不入耳;因為我是個被寵壞的小鬼──信不信由你!當然,越長越大,我就有改進了;但是我還是有我的「情緒時刻」──當慈愛的父母責備我時,就會這樣說我。我沒有真正改變,直到進聖城讀書,才對以前種種行為覺得汗顏。但是,有時候我還是有問題,當媽媽不斷囉嗦我時,就想要對她尖叫;即使那真是我的錯,因為她最初要求我時,我並沒有聽從。

去年一月,我受了五戒;我非常興奮,並決定真心誠意地奉持它,我要讓父母覺得驕傲。頭幾個星期,決心還能維持住;然後不可避免的,我開始退步了──這裏撒一點小謊、那邊說一點大話,很快就回到不名譽的老樣子。而且一旦你開了個頭,就很難停止撒謊,真糟糕極了!我開始生我自己的氣,想大哭大鬧,像個小孩子。

你可以想像,當我明白了玄奘大師如何精嚴持戒──事實上,在旅程中的某個地點,當海盜攻擊他的船時,戒律如何保全了他的生命──我覺得多麼慚愧!這個故事,是我第二次參觀照片展覽,聽實法師講玄奘大師時說的。它留給我一個很深的印象:玄奘大師一生持戒如此忠誠,而我自己一直都在做些什麼呢?懈惰自欺,告訴自己,我盡力在持戒。自從聽到這故事的那一刻起,我下決心要學玄奘大師,認真的去修行。

別人常常問我:「你長大以後要做什麼?你的興趣是什麼?」我總有不同的回答:「我要當作家!」「我要畫日本漫畫!」「我要做科學家!」甚至於:「我要成為一位歌手!」說真的,我並不真正知道我要做個什麼。人家說不要緊,慢慢來;但我是那種最討厭凡事模稜兩可的人,特別是關係到我自己的事。玄奘大師有個令人難以置信的目標──他知道他要做什麼,不論晴雨,他都要去做。我希望有一天,我也能找到自己願意奉獻一生的人生目標。

雖然前境未明,但是現前仍有好多事我可以做,以改變當下;譬如做個好女兒、勤力讀書,也認真持戒。就像玄奘大師一樣,我會一直往前走,克服每個困難,永不放棄!

遙想唐代大師玄奘
橫渡大漠風沙
帶回佛陀經法
讓我們學習並領會
念及他長路迂迴
直抵印度再返回
我們怎能不好好研究聖典?

真的,要怎麼做呢?


Tang Hsuan Tsang and his helpers, they
Endured the hardships of the great highway
Doing what others could not do
Through heat and cold and monsters, they
Just continued on their way
To bring the Sutras home for me and you

Who was Tang Hsuan Tsang?

He was a monk. He was a cultivator. He was a pilgrim. He was an explorer. He was a teacher. He was the kind of person who didn’t back down from a challenge, even when the odds were insurmountable and nobody would support him. He is my inspiration.

I am fourteen years old and I am currently attending boarding school in the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. This in itself is a challenge - I live in the dormitory, where there is no internet access, no TV, everyone is closely supervised, and we must attend Evening Ceremony every night, among other things. Adapting has been difficult, to say the least, although I have grown accustomed to it all, this being my second year. But in reality, nothing can prepare one properly for life in CTTB - the grueling schedule, eating nothing but vegetarian food, the need to watch oneself at all times so as not to inadvertently break some rule, learning to cooperate with others (which is a lot harder than it seems), and, most importantly, the feeling of being on your own, without your parents to rely on.

In the City, you have to deal with people constantly. Everyone has to work together as a community to get work done and keep things running smoothly. Living in close proximity with a couple dozen other girls, each with their own personality and attitudes, not to mention teachers, dorm mothers, nuns and laypeople, makes you look at yourself deeply. So and so is so annoying! I hope I’m not like that... So and so is so wonderful! I want to be just like her. So and so is very angry with me. I wonder if I am really that horrible sometimes. I ought to change.

I ought to change...

In school, we must memorize Dizi Gui (Standards for Students), the Chinese classic that instructs us on how to be good students, sons, daughters, men, and women. One of the issues that Dizi Gui focuses on is filiality. Readers are instructed to answer immediately when their parents call, accept their praise and scolding with respect, love them even if that love is not returned, even to climb in their parents’ bed to warm it up before their parents go to sleep.

Frankly, when I was little, I would have balked at the thought of doing most of those things because, believe it or not, I was a spoiled brat. Of course, as I grew older, I improved, but I still had my “moments”, as my kind parents preferred to call them when scolding me. I didn’t really change until I began to attend Developing Virtue Girls’ School, and now I feel very embarrassed when I think about my previous behavior. I still have problems sometimes, wanting to scream at my mother when she “nags”, even though it’s actually my fault for not listening to her when she first asked me.

Last January, I took the Five Precepts. I was very excited and determined to keep them faithfully; I wanted to make my parents proud. For the first few weeks, my resolve stood. Then, inevitably, I began to slip - a little fib here, a little white lie there, and soon I was back to my dishonest old ways. And once you start, it’s very difficult to stop lying. What a disaster! I became so angry with myself that I wanted to cry and throw a tantrum, like a little child.

Imagine how ashamed I felt when I learned about how strictly the Great Master Hsuan Tsang held the precepts - how, indeed, they saved his life when pirates attacked the ship he was traveling in at one point in his journey. I heard this story upon my second visit to the photo exhibit, while listening to Dharma Master Heng Sure’s lecture “A Monk For All Seasons”. It made a deep impression on me – Great Master Hsuan Tsang upheld the precepts so faithfully all his life, and what had I been doing all this time? Goofing off and lying to myself, telling myself that I was trying my hardest to keep the precepts. From that moment on, I was determined to become like Hsuan Tsang and cultivate hard.

People frequently ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up? What are your interests?” I always have a different answer: “I want to be an author.” “I want to draw manga (Japanese comics).” “I want to be a scientist.” Even, “I want to be a singer.” To tell the truth, I don’t really know what I want to be. People tell me that it’s alright and I should just take my time, but I am the kind of person that hates being unsure about things, especially about myself. Great Master Hsuan Tsang had incredible drive - he knew what he was going to do, and come sun or rain, he was going to do it. I hope that I’ll someday find my own drive, something that I am willing to work all my life for.

Although the future is unclear, there are still many things I can do to change the present, like becoming a good daughter, studying hard, and upholding the precepts. Like Great Master Hsuan Tsang, I’ll keep going forward, overcoming every obstacle. I’ll never give up!

Thinking on Tang Hsuan Tsang
Crossing the desert sands
Bringing back the Buddha’s law
For us to read and understand
Thinking on his journey long
To India and back again
How can we fail to study them?

How indeed?

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