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BODHI FIELD

追隨難行而行的足跡
─ 法總訪問團馬來西亞之行感想
Following the Footprints of a Difficult Path─
Reflections on My Trip to Malaysia with the DRBA Delegation

李金娥 文 by Jin Er Lee on June 1, 2006
比丘尼恆異 英譯 English Translated by Bhikshuni Heng Yi

人到中年逐漸會理解人生難料,世事無常的道理。婆婆近十年病痛纏身,進出醫院不知凡幾,近幾年,又因長期服用西藥,引起併發症,令她痛不欲生。她時常說:「我萬萬想不到老來竟落得如此下場,滿身是病,只有過一天算一天。」然而,當我提議多吃齋唸佛時,她卻不接受,我想這和我不夠精進有關。

今年一月二十五日婆婆住院,二月二十七日往生。原先報名參加法總今年亞洲訪問團南部弘法的現場志工的事,也因守靈期間無法參與。婆婆住院大約往生前十天,精神萎糜時而陷入昏迷狀態,當我在她耳邊念佛號時(婆婆重聽),她曾努力跟著節拍點頭,嘴巴不停的動,但發不出聲音。大約往生前五天,瞳孔渙散不會認人,說不出話而且臉形變得與平日大不相同。眼睛時常往上吊,有種令人心生恐懼的面貌。婆婆往生後,家人共同排除萬難,依照佛教方式辦理。在此之所以提出有關婆婆的經歷,是個人在歷經了家兄、家父、家母臨終前後的過程,又一個不能了了分明,不生顛倒的往生例子。我覺得上人所說:「打得念頭死,許汝法身活。」對於我來說有深刻的體悟。

因為依照婆婆的病情,眼見報名參加跟隨法總訪問團三月十六日往馬來西亞的行程即將來臨,心想大概是無法成行了。幸有佛菩薩、上人幫我們做了安排,婆婆往生,也因而免除她在世間受煎熬的苦期。三月十二日婆婆的告別式完成後,我們趕快辦好手上的事,終於及時能夠跟隨法總訪問團去馬來西亞了。

原先以為此趟可以讓我們稍稍舒緩的五天行程,想不到法師們從黎明四點做早課、拜懺、參訪、聽經到晚上九點半至十點才回飯店。這不浪費分分秒秒的行程,對在台灣已經連續兩個半月身心俱疲的同修和我而言,真得很吃力。

太累時難免有懈怠的心情,而同行的人個個學習法師們勇猛精進全程參與的精神令我們汗顏以對,趕快勉力集中精神誦經禮佛。在馬來西亞,我們看到法師們依循上人的教導一步一腳印,幾十年來在回教是官方宗教的國家,不畏辛勞的注入法音,接引眾生,在那裡披荊斬棘的事蹟。信徒得以在紛擾的俗塵,找到清淨的源頭,身心的歸屬。法師們無畏的布施,如黑夜中的燈塔,撫慰多少無主的心靈登彼岸處!在登彼岸大殿裡,我們看到了多少婦孺老幼,法喜充滿吟唱經典及聆聽法師演講;大殿外也擠滿了人群來請經典或是拜佛。人群中也有不少其他國籍人士虔誠的在禮佛、拜佛。

上人圓寂前對於教育的提倡與履行不餘遺力,在「法界觀音聖寺」我們看到了菩提的種子已經由下而上、由上而下滋長。由年齡層5歲至大專學生,都得到佛法的薰陶。泰法師為我們講解「法界觀音聖寺」舉辦的幼學苑、佛學班的初期人數不多,到目前人數逐年增加,是法師們為佛事流血汗不休息的最佳寫照。

此次有幸跟隨法師們去馬來西亞最大的感觸是,在法師們的身上,我們看到上人孜孜不倦,引導眾生登彼岸的精神。從言談中,我們領略到正知正見,勇猛精進、捍衛佛法、依法相傳、循循善誘的精神在法師們的身上表露無遺。這些是我的精神食糧,時時的反芻讓我明白跟隨上人的腳步是我此生最大的收穫。雖然上人肉身不在,他的教化流傳廣大,在四眾弟子齊心努力下,發揚在全世界各個角落。無盡的感恩無法以隻字片語表達。


As I entered middle age, I gradually realized the unpredictability of life and the impermanence of the world. For the past ten years, my mother-in-law had been stricken with ailments and pain, resulting in frequent trips to the hospital. In the past several years, she suffered from complications and pain caused by long-term use of western medicines, which led her to wish to end her life. She often said, “I absolutely did not expect to end up with this fate in my old age. With this body full of ailments, I can only take one day at a time.” Nevertheless, when I suggested that she become a vegetarian and recite the Buddha’s name, she did not accept my suggestion. I thought this must have been related to my laziness.

My mother-in-law was hospitalized on January 25th of this year, and passed away on February 27th. Previously, I registered to work as a volunteer for the DRBA’s Asian Delegation tour in southern Taiwan; however, I was unable to participate because I had to keep vigil beside the coffin of my mother-in-law. About ten days before she passed away, she became unresponsive and fell into a coma. When I recited the Buddha’s name into her ear (she was hard of hearing), she tried hard to nod her head to the rhythm, and her lips did not stop moving, but she could not utter a single sound. Approximately five days before she passed away, her pupils were dilated and she could not recognize anyone. She could not speak a word and her facial appearance changed and became quite different from before. Her eyes constantly stared upwards making a horrifying facial expression. After she passed away, my family worked through myriad difficulties in order to conduct the funeral according to Buddhist rituals. I was inspired to illustrate my in-law’s case after witnessing the same process involving my brother, father, and mother’s death. Prior to their passing away, they were mentally confused as was my mother-in-law. These events surrounding the passing of my family members, have instilled in me a deep apprehension for the Venerable Master’s words, “Beat your thoughts to death so your Dharma body comes to life.”

Based on my mother-in-law’s condition, I thought that I would probably miss the trip to Malaysia on March 16th with the DRBA Delegation group. Fortunately, the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and Venerable Master had made good arrangements for us. My mother-in-law passed away which alleviated her from the worldly torments and bitter days. After the funeral procession, we quickly wrapped up our affairs at hand. Finally, we made it just in time to join the DRBA Delegation tour to Malaysia.

Originally we thought we could take advantage of this five-day journey to relax a bit. We never expected that the Dharma Masters’ daily schedule started early in the morning with recitation at 4:00 am, followed by bowing in repentance, visiting places, and listening to sutras. It was not until 9:30 p.m. or 10:00 p.m. that we could return to the hotel to rest. Keeping such a tight schedule without wasting a single minute or second was an extraordinarily strenuous burden for us, as we were already physically and mentally worn out after two and a half months of distress.

Exhausted to the extreme, we occasionally slacked off while others emulated the Dharma Masters’ diligence. We felt so ashamed that we mustered up our concentration to recite the Sutras and bow to the Buddhas. In Malaysia, we saw Dharma Masters, who for more than one decade, followed the Venerable Master’s footsteps in their efforts to break new ground in a country whose official religion is Islam. Enduring pain and toil, they persevered in spreading the Dharma and receiving and guiding living beings. Faithful followers, thus, can return to their pure source and find a refuge for their bodies and minds in this turbid world. The Dharma Masters impart a sense of fearlessness, like beacons in the darkness bringing peace to numerous souls and guiding them to reach the other shore! In the Buddha Hall of Deng Bi An [“Reaching the Other Shore”] Monastery, we saw numberless women, children, old and young people chant with great joy and listen to Dharma Masters’ lectures. Crowds of people came to obtain Sutra copies or bow to the Buddhas. People of many different nationalities sincerely paid respect and bowed to the Buddhas.

Before entering stillness, the Venerable Master spared no efforts in promoting education. In Prajna Guanyin Sagely Monastery, we saw that the bodhi seeds had grown from the bottom to the top and from the top to the bottom. Students five years old to college level were permeated by the Buddhadharma. Dharma Master Tai explained to us that the Youth Class and the Buddhist Studies Class were very small in the beginning. The number of students has increased year by year, and this is the most telling portrayal of the Dharma Masters’ tireless devotion to the Buddha’s work.

The most rewarding experience for me during this Malaysia trip was learning about the Venerable Master’s vigorous spirit in guiding living beings to the other shore. The Dharma Masters embodied the Venerable Master’s proper knowledge and views, courageous diligence, fearless protection of the Buddhadharma, perpetuation of the lineage of orthodox Dharma, and patient and skillful teaching. This is my spiritual nourishment which I constantly ponder, and I am convinced that following in the Venerable Master’s footsteps is the most fruitful harvest throughout my life. Although the Venerable Master’s physical body is no longer present, his teachings are perpetuated by his monastic and lay disciples to every corner of the world. My endless gratitude cannot be fully expressed through these brief words.

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