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菩提田

 

BODHI FIELD

從容自在赴蓮邦(三)
Entering the Lotus Land at Ease (Part III)

魏鎮西 文 by Angela Wei
黃珮玲 英譯 English Translated by Pei Ling Ooi

【雙親生死契闊的情誼】

父母親求學時代正值中國戰亂時期;抗日戰爭結束後,他們由相識並進一步組織家庭,雙親結褵長達五十五年之久。

他們年輕時,父親因為職務關係經常不在家,而母親無怨無悔的負起養育子女的責任。父親在母親的心目中是獨一無二的,她總是告訴我們:

「在家裡,爸爸永遠是擺第一的!因為沒有他,我和你們都不可能有今天!」母親不只對爸爸照顧得無微不至,並且盡量承擔家中的所有事務,使父親無後顧之憂,全心全意的為國效命。

在我們子女印象中,他們很少爭吵。父親感激母親為家庭、為丈夫、為子女付出畢生的心血;所以當母親身體不適時,父親總是安慰她、開導她、化解她心中的憂慮,成為她的精神支柱。父親並常告訴我們兄弟姐妹五人:「你們的母親含辛茹苦養育你們,她為這個家付出她一生的心血,你們一定要好好孝順她!」

當他們步入老年時,來美定居,有幸遇到師父 宣公上人,接觸佛法,兩人逐步的走上修行之路。父親沉默寡言,喜獨處;而母親較好動,喜歡結交朋友,也喜歡參加法會或共修等活動。雖然雙親個性不同,但是父親盡量配合她,與她一起參加各種法會;有時也會將研讀佛經的心得與她分享,並告訴她如何減少煩憂的方法。而母親對於父親全心投入修行的意願,也盡量配合;媽媽曾經告訴我:「妳爸爸這麼喜歡修行,我們應該要成全他,不要障礙他!」

西元1989年至西元1995年,是雙親一生中身心最愉快的時光;他們經常聯袂上三藩市拜見師父 宣公上人,或上萬佛城參加法會,有時也隨緣與佛友們聚會或出遊。此時雙親身體健康,心情愉快,將過去長期累積的壓力與煩惱,全都置之腦後,全副精力專注在學習佛法上。

西元1998年底,母親的身體狀況漸走下坡,所以心情容易低落;當其心情沮喪,或遇事易起煩惱時,父親不但成了她傾訴的對象,也是她的心理治療師,還是她的同修法侶。父親經常指導她如何念佛,如何正確的觀相念佛。父親常告訴她:「唯有放下心中的一切,專心念佛,才能夠與佛菩薩感應道交。」而母親也能虛心的接納,盡其所能的練習專心念佛與念經。

西元1999年雙親訂下規定:平時談話的主題,以佛法為主,盡可能不涉及世俗的話題;若是不小心提及俗事或煩惱事時,要及時相互提醒與糾正。每晚兩人共修念佛一小時,當他們共修結束,父親就為她按摩十幾、二十分鐘,然後安慰她幾句才就寢。

西元2000年3月,父親已意識到母親身體狀況出現了嚴重問題;但他不動聲色,只是從旁協助她,關懷她,盡量使其心情愉快。當時母親體力漸衰,但是父親仍是堅持每晚與她共修念佛一小時。父親小心翼翼的牽著母親的手,步入小佛堂念佛;念完佛號,又扶著母親緩緩的回房,幫母親把被子鋪好,協助她躺下休息,並安慰她幾句。此時母親晚間睡眠的品質越來越差,每當難以入眠的深夜,她會不由自主的找父親陪她;而爸爸不論多累,仍是滿她的願,坐在其床邊陪陪她、和她說說話,給她安全感。直到清晨,母親睡著之後,父親才回到自己的房間打坐念佛;父親深夜起身,陪伴母親渡過漫漫長夜的日子,約有半年之久。

父親為增強其信心,與堅定其毅力,常為她講解「念佛法門」的殊勝,教導她如何堅定念佛,將身體的病痛減到最低點。父親並抄寫一段某位大德的嘉句鼓勵她:「為人多病未足羞,一生無病是堪憂!」非真用功者,不知此語之妙也! 並勸導她:「苦與樂只是人生的表象,終不久留,所以無須往心裡去的,要把它當垃圾丟掉!現今最重要的是,要如何念佛得力,在這一生就能了脫生死!」 母親在父親的悉心呵護與鼓勵下,逐漸的放下心中的牽掛與煩憂,不理會身體的痛楚,專心誠敬的念佛及念經,與觀相念佛。

母親於西元2000年十月底開刀後,向父親表白她想走,請求父親幫助她。父親為了安她的心,以鎮定的口吻告訴她:「我可以念十萬遍佛號迴向給你,但是要到西方極樂世界,則須要靠你自己的信心與願力,其它的都只是助緣罷了!若是你肯放下一切,一定去得成!」父親的堅強與真誠,猶如給了母親一顆定心丸。

自那以後,她就常告訴我們:「從今以後,不要再喊我『媽』!我和你爸、還有和你們,都以同修道友相稱呼!」她還要妹妹轉告父親說:「他修他的、我修我的,我和他是同修,已無任何關係!」

母親臥病期間,爸爸每天除了固定念佛打坐之外,其餘時間則盡可能的陪伴她;每次總是握著她的手,給她定力,並輕聲細語的安慰她。直到母親往生前七天,她親眼看到阿彌陀佛與蓮花之後,她就逐漸的不再依賴父親。

父親後來回憶說:「當你媽媽看到阿彌陀佛之後,我再握她的手時,我就感覺到她不再需要外力了!當時我心中的壓力減輕不少,因為我知道她自己已有把握往生極樂世界了!」母親於同年十一月十一日中午, 安祥往生;當時家人即刻聚集其房間念佛,望著父親盤腿端坐,專心念佛,並未受喪偶之痛的影響時,心生佩服!心裡也少份耽憂。

對於母親預知時至,安祥往生,父親深感欣慰,且如釋重負。在母親頭七時,他告訴我們:「當我發現你媽媽身體不對勁的時候,我就開始籌劃如何幫助她放下萬緣,堅定她的信心與願力,往生極樂世界。當時我還沒有十足的把握,沒想到她真的做到了!我心中的石頭也可以放下了!」父親謹守諾言,於母親往生四十九天之日,即念滿十萬句佛號,迴向給她。

父親以相知相惜的心,陪母親走完人生的旅程;他的從容鎮定與慈悲真誠,使母親能夠斷然割捨親情與世間塵緣,坦然面對無常生死,專心念佛,往生西方淨土。父親將「執子之手,與子偕老」的夫妻之情,提昇為助其成就道業的同參法侶之道義;使我心生感動,且由衷的敬佩,更使我體悟到「將小情小愛的私欲,昇華為行菩薩道的大情大愛」的真正涵義。

父親攙扶著母親念佛共修的身影,猶如一幅永不磨滅的圖畫,深植我心,令我畢生難忘!

待續


The friendship of my parents which spanned life and death

My parents attended schools during the period of time when China was in a state of chaos caused by war. After the Sino-Japanese War ended, they met, got married and established a family. They were married for 55 years.

When my parents were young, my father was often absent due to his work. My mother shouldered the responsibility of raising and educating her children, without any complaints or regrets. In her mind, my father was unique and irreplaceable. She always told us, “At home, your father is forever number one! Without him, you and I would not be who we are today!” My mother not only took care of my father in every possible way, but also undertook all matters in the family. In this way, my father did not have any extra worries and could devote himself to serving the country wholeheartedly.

From our perspective, our parents seldom quarreled. My father felt grateful to my mother for painstakingly taking care of him and their children all her life. Accordingly, whenever my mother was not feeling well, he would always comfort her, give her guidance, and melt away the worries in her mind. He became her spiritual support. My father often told the five of us, my siblings and myself, “Your mother suffered great hardships to raise and educate you. She dedicated all her life to our family. You definitely have to be filial to her!”

When they slipped into their autumn years, they came to America to settle down. Fortunately enough, they met the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua and were exposed to the Buddhadharma. Both of them gradually walked the path of spiritual cultivation. Serious and taciturn, my father enjoyed solitude. In contrast, as a more outgoing person, my mother loved to make friends and attend Dharma assemblies or other activities. Even though my parents had different personalities, my father coordinated with her as much as possible, attending various Dharma assemblies with her. Sometimes he would also share with her what he had learned from studying the Buddhist sutras and taught her various ways to reduce her worries. Reciprocally, my mother tried her best to support his aspiration to dedicate himself to spiritual cultivation. My mother once told me, “Since your father is so keen on spiritual cultivation, we should not obstruct him!”

The years from 1989 to 1995 were the most joyous times for my parents throughout their entire lives. Frequently, they would pay a visit to the Venerable Master Hua in San Francisco or participate in the Dharma assemblies at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas together. Occasionally, they would also attend a gathering or join an outing with their Buddhist friends. During this period of time, both my parents were physically healthy and mentally joyful. Having cast out all the stress and affliction accumulated in the past, they spent all their energy on studying and practicing the Buddhadharma.

By the end of 1998, my mother’s health gradually went downhill. Consequently, she would easily slip into a depressed mood. Whenever she felt depressed or irritable, my father was all ears as she poured out her emotions. He became her psychotherapist as well as her fellow practitioner and Dharma companion. My father often instructed her how to be mindful of the Buddha and how to properly contemplate the Buddha. He frequently told her, “Only by putting down everything in your mind and concentrating on mindfulness of the Buddha would one be able to resonate with the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas and receive a response.” My mother accepted his advice humbly. To the best of her ability, she wholeheartedly practiced mindfulness of the Buddha and sutra recitation.

In 1999, my parents stipulated that they must center their daily conversations on the Buddhadharma, avoiding secular topics as much as possible; if they accidentally touched upon worldly concerns or worries, they must immediately remind and correct each other. Every evening, they would recite the Buddha’s name together for an hour. After their practice, my father would massage her for ten or twenty minutes and give her a few words of comfort before they went to bed.

In March, 2000, my father realized that my mother’s health problems were rather serious. Yet, he remained calm and collected. He simply assisted and cared for her and tried his best to cheer her up. At that time, my mother was getting feebler, but my father still insisted on practicing Buddha recitation with her for an hour every evening. Holding her hand carefully and gently, my father would lead my mother into the small Buddha hall to recite the Buddha’s name. After they concluded the practice, he would again hold my mother by her arms, slowly lead her back to her room, arrange her quilt, assist her to lie down and rest, and give her a few words of comfort. During this period of time the quality of her sleep at night was deteriorating. When it came to the time when she was unable to sleep late at night, she could not help but ask my father to accompany her. No matter how tired he was, he would invariably fulfill her wish. He would sit next to her bed to accompany her and talk to her, giving her a sense of security. In the early morning when my mother finally fall asleep, my father would return to his room to sit in meditation and recite the Buddha’s name. The times during which he got up late at night to accompany my mother through the endless night lasted for approximately half a year.

In order to strengthen her faith and perseverance, my father regularly explained to her the remarkable wonders of the Buddha recitation practice and guided her to recite the Buddha’s name resolutely in order to minimize her physical pain. Additionally, my father transcribed a fine quote by a greatly virtuous one to encourage her: “To be sickly as a human is not shameful; to be free of illness for one’s entire life is worrisome!” One who is not practicing seriously would not be able to appreciate the subtle wonder of this saying! My father further encouraged her, “Suffering and happiness are just the phenomena of human life; they do not linger long. Thus pay them no mind, simply discard them as if they were trash. Right now, the most important thing is to recite the Buddha’s name effectively, so that in this very life, you will be able to end birth and death!” With his utmost care, support and encouragement, my mother gradually put down the worries and afflictions in her mind and disregarded her physical pain. With sincerity, respect and single-minded devotion, she recited the Buddha’s name and sutras and practiced mindfulness of the Buddha using the contemplation method.

At the end of October, 2000, after her operation, my mother professed to my father that she wished to go, requesting my father to help her. In order to settle her mind, my father told her calmly, “I can recite the Buddha’s name a hundred thousand times and dedicate the merit to you. But to be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss, you have to rely on your own faith and vows. Other things are merely conditions that can support you! If you are willing to put down everything, you definitely will be able to go there!” His determination and sincerity comforted her and set her mind at ease.

After that, she often told us, “Henceforth, do not call me ‘mom’! Your father, I and all of you should call one another fellow practitioners!” In addition, she told my younger sister to convey the message to my father, saying, “He walks on his spiritual path, and I walk on mine; he and I are fellow practitioners without any husband-and-wife relationship!”

During the period of time when my mother was bedridden, besides the set time during which my father sat in meditation and recited the Buddha’s name, his remaining time was dedicated to accompanying her as much as possible. Each time he would always hold her hands and comfort her gently, thereby giving her strength. Seven days before my mother passed away, she saw with her own eyes Amitabha Buddha and a lotus flower. After that, she gradually became less dependent on my father.

Afterwards, my father recollected, “After your mother saw Amitabha Buddha, when I held her hands, I felt she no longer needed any external support! At that time, the pressure in my heart was significantly relieved, as I knew she had the assurance to be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss!” At noon on November 11 of that same year, my mother peacefully passed away. At that time our family members immediately gathered in her room to recite the Buddha’s name. As I saw my father sitting upright in full-lotus position, reciting the Buddha’s name wholeheartedly and not being affected by the passing of his spouse, I genuinely admired him. I also had less worry for him in my heart.

My father felt deeply gratified and relieved that my mother knew in advance the time of her departure and eventually passed away peacefully. On the seventh day after my mother passed away, he told us, “When I realized that your mother’s health was out of sorts, I started to plan how to help her to let go of the myriad worldly concerns, in order to strengthen her faith and vow to be reborn in the Western Land of Ultimate Bliss. At that time I did not have full confidence that she could do it. Little did I know that she would actually make it! I could finally put down the burden in my heart!” My father kept his promise. On the forty-ninth day after my mother’s departure, he finished reciting the Buddha’s name a hundred thousand times and dedicated the merit to her.

Being my mother’s bosom friend and cherishing her, my father walked my mother to the end of her life journey. His equanimity, stability, as well as his compassion and sincerity enabled my mother to decisively cut off family affections and worldly affairs. Calmly and confidently, she was able to face impermanence and the great matter of life and death, to recite the Buddha’s name wholeheartedly and eventually, to be reborn in the Western Pure Land. My father elevated the conjugal affection between him and my mother to a more sublime sense of responsibility and commitment. As her fellow practitioner and Dharma companion, he supported her and helped her to accomplish her spiritual cultivation. I was deeply moved in my heart and genuinely admired him. He enabled me to grasp the true implication of “sublimating the selfish desire for petty, sensual love to practice the great compassion of the Bodhisattva path”.

The image of my father holding and supporting my mother to practice Buddha recitation is like a drawing that can never be erased. It is deeply etched in my heart and for the rest of my life will never be forgotten!

To be continued

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