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 太陽初昇以前，我們在鎮上穿行過很晦暗的一區，心裡覺得這兒真窮，我們的東西有可能給人偷去。更有甚者，這個世居山嶺的古老部族，族民依然拒絕穿衣，鎮日提弓握箭，殺氣騰騰，四處遊走。
我們與一位村民（恰逢此人酒醉）走過鎮上的壞區，他說這些裸身男人要是看見女子，準會心裡打妄想。我的耳朵頓時高高豎起，「我沒聽錯吧？」一陣沉默中，大夥兒都走攏到一起了。當我們的步伐愈走愈快，背包似乎也不再沉重，我感到恐懼油然而生。有什麼好怕的？難道害怕不是源自「自我」的執著？我要防什麼呢？東西遭竊？受到騷擾？被毆？強暴？被殺？說穿了，這亦不過是一具色身、某件物品罷了。這些執著不正是我所要下功夫克治的嗎？這不是「我」。
想起每天在我腳下喪命的諸多螻蟻，它們的生命不也同樣寶貴，何以我的命就比它們來得重要？我明白了：我並不比它們重要！一如任何生命，我只是宇宙裡的一個小點點。一如任何生命，我自有我的我執、家庭、社會等等。我並不特殊。這些道理上我都懂，但是今天的遭遇，引發出我內心幾乎難以言喻的不同感受。
我感到某種前所未有的自由。這個Ｆ大寫的自由，是一種猶如辭枝的落葉飛舞於半空中的自由。突然間，我不怕了。一點兒也不怕了。產生這樣的心理並非來自否認事實，一如你在有些時候故作堅強，而是出自我鮮少觸及的一個極純淨的心靈空間。
那種天人合一的感受實在令我難以解釋。我感到某個更大的東西在看著我，有如同母親在呵護著我，指引著我。而我卻像一個任性跋扈慣的孩子，不當回事，可是她卻不離不棄地始終守著我。今天不會有事了，我知道。即便有，也不礙事了。這些人全是我的兄弟姊妹，我們都曾是歧路的亡羊啊。此刻，愛席裹了我的全身，我的心前所未有地舒展開來領受那愛。心中充滿童稚的歡忭的我，一邊輕快地走著，一邊盡可能地珍惜保有這份感覺。宇宙天地都是我的，而我，是它鐘愛的女兒。愛是唯一待做之事，與它相比，其他一切皆黯然失色。
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Just before sunrise, we walk through a really sketchy part of town where there’s a lot of poverty, and we might get our stuff stolen. It’s more of an old tribal, hilly area where people still don’t believe in wearing clothes and they walk around with bows and arrows, for killing.
As one of the villagers (who happens to be drunk) walks us through the bad part of town, he mentions that if the naga (naked) men see women, they might get other ideas. For a split second my ears perk up, “Did I hear that right?” There’s a moment of silence as everyone tries to walk together now. For a second, I feel the fear arise as my feet start walking faster and the bag no longer seems heavy. What’s there to fear? Doesn’t fear ultimately come from “ego”? What am I trying to protect? Getting our stuff stolen, getting harassed, beaten, raped, killed? Ultimately, it’s just a physical body, it’s just stuff. Aren’t these the very attachments I’m trying to work on? This is not who “I AM.”
I think about the dozens of ants I kill each day walking, they’re precious life too. Why does my life matter more? Then it dawns on me: it doesn’t! I’m just a tiny speck in the universe like everything else. And like everything else, I have my own attachments, family, community, and so forth. There’s nothing significantly special about me. Rationally, I know all this but something about experiencing it today brings forth different emotions that are next to impossible to put into words.
I feel a type of Freedom that I’ve never felt before, Freedom with a capital F, a Freedom that a leaf might feel in mid-flight after splitting from a tree. Suddenly, I have absolutely no fear. None. And these emotions are not coming out of denial, like those times when you’re trying to be strong. They’re coming from the purest space within me that I am seldom in touch with.
What’s even harder to explain is the oneness I feel with all of nature. I can feel that there is something much bigger looking after me, feeling almost like a mother’s protecting and guiding me. I feel like I’ve been this arrogant child, not giving it much credence, but yet it’s been there every step of the way. I KNOW that nothing will happen today. Even if it does, it doesn’t matter. These are all my own brothers and sisters. We all lose our way sometimes. But in this moment, I feel completely enveloped in love. My heart expands further than it ever has to welcome that love. I try to hold onto that feeling for as long as I can and keep walking with a childlike glee. The universe is mine and I, its favorite daughter. The only thing left to do is to love. Everything else fades in comparison.
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