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…… 今天下午在辦公室跟人講到自己第一次被上人教訓的事情。不怕你們笑，那是很早以前，一次在金輪寺，我記得是在樓下餐廳，上人看到我就跟我講--這是上人第一次教訓我。因為是第一次，所以記得還算清楚--上人很和氣，很慈祥地講，「我們在廟裡頭，人家不喜歡的事，我們就不要做。」我一聽就知道上人在講我什麼。
我業障重，個性頑強，修行障礙很多也是事實。平常自己覺得對時，管他是誰我一路顢頇到底。上人現在既然如此講，我懂了，從此什麼事我都不敢講話，也不敢有意見；什麼都不要聽，交代什麼我就做什麼，這樣過了好一陣子。廟上發生再大的事情我也都不知道，沒人跟我講，我也不想問；人家在講，我也沒想去聽，所以完全不知道。這樣也挺愉快的過了一陣子。
一次，上人到廟上來，看到我就講--這一回是很生氣，很大聲地吼--「護法不是這樣做的。」我一聽，心裡想不知自己又犯了什麼錯。「護法不是這樣做的，要拿著金剛寶劍。」上人還教我怎麼拿，拿給我看，「要這樣拿。」上人又說，「看見不對的，你要走到他的面前去，右手拿著劍，左手指著他說，『你為什麼要這樣做？』要很大聲地問他為什麼這樣做，不是什麼話都不講的。護法不是這樣護的。」上人很生氣地這樣對我講。
我不是上人，不敢比給你們看應該怎麼拿。上人責備了我一頓，我心想，「上次不是跟我講不要那樣嗎？怎麼現在又叫我那樣呢？要我怎麼辦呢？這樣也不對，那樣也不對。」上人沒再講話，我前後兩次被上人指責，我也都沒講話，不曉得該講什麼。後來有一次我載上人出去--以前我載過上人多次，上人在車上是不講話的，我也不藉機跟上人囉唆--上人一向上了車，把眼一閉，開始念咒，我不曉得念的是什麼咒，反正就這樣一路開車。
這一回上人開著眼，就跟我講了，「開口就錯，不開口也是錯，那你說該怎麼辦？」我又不曉得該怎麼回答了。我知道上人是講上一回的事。
我想各位也許都看過《虛雲年譜法彙》，裡面講虛老在吃飯時跟大家講--他當然是跟出家眾講--他說，「著色、聲、香、味、觸、法的是凡夫。」吃飯時大家都會覺得這個好吃，那個不好吃，雖然嘴不講，但眼睛瞪得很大地看著菜；喜歡的拚命拿，不喜歡的跳過去。虛老就講，「著色、聲、香、味、觸、法的是凡夫，不著色、聲、香、味、觸、法的形同草木。這中間你們誰能夠講出一句話來？」他當然是對那些修行人講的。
我再回頭再講「人家不喜歡的事情，我們就不要做。」你看看上人的度量多大！相信有的人還記得，早期一進總辦公室左邊牆上時鐘下頭，掛著一幀相片，是于斌于樞機的相片，當然是上人的意思。
一次有位老先生，他第一次進到辦公室，一看這樣子，不知趣地就說，「哎！我們佛教機構怎麼放一個天主教神父的相片在這裡？放得這麼大，一進門就看到！」上人正好在場，這位老先生就一副義不容辭，伸張正義地說，「師父，我們是佛教團體，為什麼要放其他宗教神父的相片在這裡？」上人一聽，說，「哎！小老弟……！」就沒再講下去了。意思就是說我們心量不要這麼小嘛！我猜想大概是這樣的意思。
這位老先生還不死心，一直跟上人喋喋不休地說，「我們這樣會破壞佛教的形象。」
到底會不會破壞佛教的形象，也還不知道，但他認定會，就一直講一直講。上人終於說，「好吧！你們不喜歡，我們就把相片拿下來吧！」相片拿下來了，同時也就不見了。
我講這些話，沒要把于樞機的相片再拿出來掛得意思，只是當時有這麼一件事情就是了。你想上人的心量多大！這事已經隔了十多年，到現在天主教徒度沒幾個來的，對不對？那你們不喜歡，上人也就只好這樣了。
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Today I told someone in the office about the first time I was admonished by the Venerable Master. I do not mind if you laugh. That was a very long time ago in Gold Mountain Monastery. I remember it happened in the dining room on ground floor. Because it was the first time the Venerable Master admonished me, I remember it quite clearly. The Venerable Master was friendly and said compassionately, “In the temple, we should not do things that people do not like.” When I heard this, I knew what the Venerable Master was referring to.
I have heavy karmic obstructions and I am obstinate. I face lots of obstructions in my cultivation. Normally, when I feel that I am right, I do not care who it is, I will argue to the end. From then on, no matter what happened, I did not dare to say a word or express any opinion. I did not want to listen to anything and just took orders. After a while, I knew nothing of the great matters occurring in the temple. No one told me, and I did not want to enquire. When people discussed such matters, I did not want to listen to them. Therefore, I was blissfully ignorant for a while.
Once, the Venerable Master came to the temple. As soon as he saw me, he said—this time he was furious, he shouted—“You cannot be a Dharma protector this way.” When I heard this, I did not know what mistake I had made. “A Dharma protector should not be this way. You have to hold the Vajra Sword.” The Venerable Master showed me how to hold it. “You have to hold it this way.” The Venerable Master said again, “When you see something wrong, you have to go up to the person. With your right hand holding the sword and your left hand pointing at him, say, ‘Why are you acting like this?’ You have to ask him out loud. You cannot remain silent. A Dharma protector cannot protect the Dharma that way.”
I am not the Venerable Master. So I dare not show you how to hold it. The Venerable Master gave me a scolding. I thought, “The other time he told me not to be like that. Why is he now telling me to be like that? What should I do? This way is wrong. That way is also wrong.” The Venerable Master said no more. He had admonished me twice and I did not know what to say. Later, I happened to drive the Venerable Master out—in the past, I drove the Venerable Master out many times. The Venerable Master usually did not talk while he was in the car, so I did not take the opportunity to talk to him. Usually, the Venerable Master would get in the car, close his eyes, and begin reciting a mantra. I did not know which mantra he recited. I just drove along.
But this time the Venerable Master opened his eyes and said to me, “Opening your mouth is wrong. Keeping your mouth closed is also wrong. What do you think you should do?” Again I did not know how to answer. I knew the Venerable Master was talking about what happened the other time.
I think you may have read The Compilation of Master Hsu Yun’s Life and Lectures. In that book, the Elder Hsu once instructed the monks during a meal, “Those who are attached to forms, sounds, smells, flavors, objects of touch and dharmas are ordinary beings.” When we eat, we think that this tastes good and that doesn’t taste good even though we do not say it out loud. Our eyes stare at the dishes. We get a bigger helping of the food we like and skip what we do not like. The Elder Hsu said, “Those who are attached to forms, sounds, smells, flavors, objects of touch, and dharmas are ordinary beings. Those who are not attached to forms, sounds, smells, flavors, objects of touch and dharmas are like plants. Can you say anything with regard to this?” Of course, he was talking to cultivators.
I would like to repeat, “Do not do what others do not like.” See how magnanimous the Venerable Master is. I believe some of you remember how in the early days, as soon as you entered the Administration Office, you would see a picture of Cardinal Yu-bin on the left wall. It was placed there by the Venerable Master.
Once an old man who had come to the office for the first time saw the picture and said untactfully, “Why do we display the picture of a Catholic father in our Buddhist organization? It is so huge that it catches the eye of all who enter this door.” The Venerable Master happened to be there. That old man righteously said, “Teacher, why does our Buddhist organization display the picture of a Catholic cardinal?” When the Venerable Master heard that, he said, “Oh! Little old brother…!” Then he said no more. His intention was that we should not be so petty-minded. I guessed that must have been his meaning.
That old man still did not give up. He ceaselessly chatted with the Venerable Master, “This will ruin the image of Buddhism.”
Eventually would it ruin the image of Buddhism? No one knows. But the man thought it certainly would. He insisted on saying so. Finally the Venerable Master said, “Alright, since you don’t like it, let’s take the picture down.” The picture was removed and disappeared.
I mention these things not because I want the picture of Cardinal Yu-bin to be hung up again, but just to let people know what happened back then. Just think how magnanimous the Venerable Master was. That incident occurred more than ten years ago. Up to now only a handful of Catholics have come. Am I right? Since someone did not like something, the Venerable Master had to accord with him.
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