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《菩提鏡》

 

BODHI MIRROR

久住聖城即有緣
Affinities Come with Time
--介紹比丘尼近慧師
--Introducing Bhikshuni Jin Hui

編輯部提供 Provided by Staff Editor

比丘尼近慧師是臺灣省高雄縣美濃鄉的客家人,後來遷居屏東縣,因此客家話、閩南語、國語、英語,都會說。家中沒有宗教信仰,但祖母農曆每月初二、十六,為保平安,用葷菜拜「地基主」、「好兄弟」;她雖不知那是什麼,但肯定跟佛教無關。

1991年來美國奧克拉荷馬州念書,由同學處接觸到了佛教,知道有上人。暑假時跟同學到洛杉磯玩,順便到金輪寺看看,正好遇上拜大悲懺,覺得調子十分悅耳;接著到長堤聖寺參加開光典禮,見到了上人。那天上人答問時幽默風趣,引得哄堂大笑,因此她第二天又去了,就此跟道場結下了不解之緣。

93年放假時到舊金山遊玩,順便到聖城打打佛七,開開眼界,不想第一天就病倒,狼狽溜回舊金山,住進旅社養病,心想跟聖城大概無緣了,但94年母親遇車禍而長眠,她初嚐人生無常之苦;奔喪回來後,即直奔聖城皈依,心中已經以佛教為歸依處了。95年上人走了,回聖城參加上人的荼毗大典時受了五戒,想起母親亡故,上人入寂,頓感孤單,興起不如歸去之感,決定讀完書拿到學位就回家。96年拿到企業管理碩士學位後回到聖城,原打算住一年就走,因此很少上殿,並且時時提醒自己,「我不是這裡的人,我只住一年就要走的。」

一天外出回城,經過聖塔‧蘿莎時,忽然歡呼,「快到家囉!」話甫出口,心中一震,「家?聖城是我的家嗎?」「不!不!我住一年就要走的,只是暫住。」「不是家,那是什麼呢?」「……」「還想出去找工作?」「不!外面的生活過不慣了!」「出去唸書?」「不!世間的知識沒意思。」「結婚?」「那更不能!學過《楞嚴經》了,斷欲去愛都來不及呢,還能往火坑裡跳?」「那妳想……?」她不敢再想下去了,但從此開始上殿過堂,隨眾做功課,為另一種生活方式做準備了。

幾個月後,在11月4日上人出家紀念日時落了髮,從此以上人的道場為家了。出家後在聖城受了一段時期訓練,即回臺灣支援法界印經會及彌陀聖寺,經常臺北、花蓮兩頭跑,忙得不亦樂乎,2002年直到戒期近了才趕回來。受完戒,她在育良小學教書。她認為教育要從小開始,等大了再改習慣,是事倍功半;現代人聽任電視來塑造下一代的思想行為,太危險了,她要扭轉情勢,挽救孩子。


Bhikshuni Jin Hui is Hakkanese. She came from the small town of Mei-Nung of Kao-Hsiung County in southern Taiwan but later her family moved to Ping-Tung County. So she speaks Hakkanese, Taiwanese, Mandarin Chinese and English. To seek blessings for the family, her grandmother made offerings of meat dishes to the earth deity and “Good Brothers” on the second and sixteenth of every lunar month. Although Jin Hui Shi did not know who her grandmother was worshipping, she knew it was not Buddhist practice.

In 1991 she came to the United States to attend college in Oklahoma. She learned about Buddhism and the Venerable Master from her schoolmates. One summer they visited Gold Wheel Monastery in Los Angeles. She heard and liked the chanting in the Great Compassion Repentance ceremony. The next day they attended the opening ceremony for Long Beach Sagely Monastery and saw the Venerable Master. She remembers how his witty replies to questions made everyone laugh. They went the next day too and she developed an affinity with a Buddhist monastery.

In 1993 while touring San Francisco she took a side trip to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) to join a Buddha Recitation Session. She got sick on the first day, however, and had to return to San Francisco to rest in a hotel. She thought her affinities with CTTB were over. But in 1994 when her mother died in an auto accident in Taiwan, she came straight to CTTB after the funeral to take refuge with the Triple Jewel. Faced with the impermanence of life, she sought spiritual support from Buddhism. In 1995 she attended the Venerable Master’s cremation in CTTB and received the Five Precepts. With her mother and Teacher both gone, she was overcome with loneliness and decided she would return to Taiwan after finishing school. After she got her Master’s degree in Business Administration, she came back to the City for a year. While in the City she seldom went into the Buddha Hall nor took part in the ceremonies. She often reminded herself, “I don’t belong here. I will stay for one year and then leave.”

One day when she was passing through Santa Rosa on her way back to CTTB after a trip, she suddenly exclaimed, “We’ll be home soon!” She was shocked at these words. “Home? Is the City my home? “No! I’m only here for one year.” “If it’s not my home, then what is it?” “Do I want to look for a job outside of the City?” “No! I can’t stand the life outside.” “What about going back to school?” “No! Worldly knowledge doesn’t interest me anymore.” “What about marriage?” “Impossible! Now that I’ve studied the Shurangama Sutra, I can’t get rid of desires and emotional love fast enough. How could I jump into the ‘pit of fire’?” “So I want to…?” She dared not think further, but from then on she started going to the ceremonies in the Buddha Hall, preparing herself for another kind of life.

A few months later, on November 4th, she shaved her head. From then on she regarded her Teacher’s Wayplace as home. After training briefly in the City, she returned to Taiwan to receive more training and help out in Dharma Realm Buddhist Books Distribution Society in Taipei and Amitabha Sagely Monastery in Hua-Lien. She often had to travel between the two Wayplaces. Her busy schedule kept her there until right before the ordination period in 2002. After she was fully ordained, she began teaching at the Girls School in the City. She feels that children’s education must start early. Once formed, habits are very difficult to correct. It is too dangerous to let television mold children’s thoughts. She wants to reverse the trend and try her best to save children from such influences.

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