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上人難以思議的慈心與悲行，常常令我深受感動，忍不住流出羞愧的淚水，懺悔與感恩之心不能自禁。上人說：「你們皈依我的人，都是我身上的血和肉。無論把哪一塊肉割去，都是很痛的；無論哪個地方流血，元氣都會受損傷的。所以你們要互相團結，為了要使佛教發揚光大，就要吃人所不願意吃的虧，受人所不能受的侮辱。心量要放大，行為要真實，如果不向真的去做，佛菩薩是知道的，不能欺騙佛菩薩。大家要檢討自己，痛改前非，真正地認識自己以往的顛倒、不合理的作風，要老老實實，忘記自己，而為整個佛教，整個社會服務。」每次讀上人這段悲心切切的教誡時，都使我非常慚愧。在家庭裡，如果兄弟姐妹吵架，父母會傷心難過；同樣的師兄弟不和，上人也會很心痛。
在聖城住了五年後，我在1996年回馬來西亞待了四個月。那段日子中，我作了個奇怪的夢，回來聖城沒幾天，總覺得要把它記錄下來。在夢中，我看到上人--我想是一群人，但是我只注意到上人，接著我就頂禮上人。在夢中，有人告訴我，上人為了﹙我認為﹚徒弟而絕食62天。我不知道這個夢，對其他的同修們有何意義；但是對我而言，我為自己的粗陋愚蠢，缺乏耐性，深感懺悔。
1990年春天，在萬佛城上人辦公室裡第一次見到上人時，師父教我﹕「別人罵妳，妳要笑。」受到上人的慈誨已有十多年，慚愧自己還是沒能依教奉行。我不明白為什麼上人教我笑？我想他是說不但不要發脾氣，而且在心裡也不能有瞋意，如果真要修行，那麼就不能有一點點瞋心。這真是崇高而難行的教令。
所以《華嚴經》第卅六品普賢菩薩說﹕「佛子，我不見一法為大過失，如諸菩薩，於他菩薩起瞋心者。何以故，佛子，若諸菩薩，於諸菩薩起瞋恚心，即成就百萬障門故。」
我們知道如果用專一、同情、保護和真誠的心來迴向眾生，感應會是神奇不可思議的。我們要是用痛恨抱負的心來把瞋恨傳遞給眾生，破壞傷害的力量也同樣不可思議。端賴我們自己決定用心力於拯救或殺害。如果真願眾善奉行，那不但不該發脾氣，也不能對任何人懷敵意。我們要把內裡一切有形的刀械完全放下，並拆卸所有內在的炸彈。
上人說，「不要發脾氣，不要發火，不生氣，就是報答師父；對我的徒弟，我只要求一樣，就是永遠不生氣。」我誠心盼望有朝一日我能圓滿的實踐「別人罵妳，妳要笑」，以報答上人大慈大悲之恩。經云：「人天中忍力最大，布施持戒所不能及。忍者有大力，能荷擔如來家業。」
上人建立了一個宗教信徒可皈依的聖地。世界宗教聯會於1987年在萬佛聖城舉行，邀請了抗議人、天主教，和其他教徒來參加。有道是：「世界上最好的宗教就是包容。」如果全世界各教教徒可以聯合起來，為世界和平而努力，那麼人與人之間，國與國之間就不會有戰爭或隔閡了。現在到了末法紛爭的時代，所以在1990年當我第一次來到聖城時，很高興能來到一個居民絕不會故意去踩螞蟻，或殺傷一般人認為是害蟲的微小眾生的地方。史懷哲說：「不尊重生命的宗教，不是真宗教。直到人類的慈悲擴及到所有眾生，人類才有和平。」
所謂「慈能與樂，悲能拔苦，上人在解釋華嚴經時說：慈是善根的母體，慈悲是修行人必須具備的最重要的道德。如果以慈心持戒，你的戒行有無量無邊的功德；如果以慈心修忍辱，你那個忍力有無量無邊的功德。慈悲就是佛，佛就是慈悲，慈悲是大乘的法門……。」
我記得有一首小詩：
許多神，許多教條，
許多道路，繞來繞去，
而慈悲，才是此憂苦世界的需要。
每個人都有改善人類命運的力量，如果我們能夠延續偉大聖者的智慧光，就可恢復大地之母的聖潔與清淨，當眾生與所有的植物沐浴在如此純淨殊勝的氣氛光中時，黃金時代將再現。「團結則立，分裂則垮。」如果各個宗教人士能團結起來，那麼我們仍然有希望。與其埋怨黑暗，不如讓我們點燃蠟燭，齊頭並進。明天會更好！
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The inconceivable kindness and compassion of the Venerable Master touches the depths of my being and conscience, moving me to tears of shame, remorse, and profound gratitude. The Venerable Master said, “those of you who have taken refuge with me are the blood and flesh of my own body. No matter which part of my body is cut off, it will be very painful. No matter which part of my body bleeds, my constitution will be injured. Therefore, you should all unite together. In order to cause Buddhism to flourish, you have to take the losses that others are unwilling to take and endure the insults that others are unable to endure. You must expand the measure of your mind and behave honestly. If your actions are not genuine, the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas will know. You can’t deceive them. Everyone must examine his or her own faults and earnestly correct the mistakes of the past. Truly recognize your past confused behavior and unprincipled practices. Be honest. Forget yourself and work for Buddhism and the entire society.”
The above very moving exhortation given by our compassionate Teacher makes me feel very ashamed each time I read it. In a family, if the siblings were to fight, the parents will feel very hurt and sad. Similarly, if the Venerable Master’s disciples do not get along, then the Master will also feel very pained at heart.
After staying about five years in the Sagely City, I returned to Malaysia for four months. While I was there, I saw the Venerable Master in a strange dream. I think there was a gathering of people but my mind was focused on Shr Fu. I bowed to him. I was told that the Venerable Master fasted for sixty-two days for (I think) his disciples. That was in 1996. I do not know if this dream has any significance for other disciples, but as I reflect on my own gross stupidity and lack of patience, I am filled with deep regrets.
During my first appointment with the Venerable Master at his office in CTTB, in the spring of 1990, Shr Fu advised me, “If people scold you, you should laugh.” It has been over a decade since I received the Master’s compassionate instruction and, I feel ashamed that I still have not been able to put it into practice. What did the Master mean when he said that I should laugh? I think he was saying that not only should I not display any temper, but that there should not even be any trace of anger in my heart. But if I really want to cultivate, then I cannot give rise to even a single thought of anger. That is truly a most lofty and difficult teaching to follow.
Therefore, in Chapter 36 of the Avatamsaka [Flower Adornment]
Sutra, Universal Worthy Bodhisattva says:
Disciples of the Buddha, I have not seen any such Dharma as the great offense and mistake of Bodhisattvas giving rise to thoughts of anger towards other Bodhisattvas. Why is that? Disciples of the Buddha, if Bodhisattvas were to give rise to thoughts of anger and hatred towards other Bodhisattvas, that would open doors to millions of obstructions...
We know that if we use a very concentrated, sympathetic, protective, and sincere mind to make transferences to living beings, then the miraculous effect can be quite inconceivable. But if we use a resentful and vengeful mind to transfer thoughts of hatred towards living beings, then the damaging and disastrous effects will also be inconceivable. We alone decide whether or not we want to employ our mind to save or to kill. If we genuinely wish to practice all good, then not only should we not lose our tempers, we also cannot harbor any grudges toward anyone. We have to completely lay down all our invisible daggers and dismantle all our inner bombs.
The Venerable Master said, “You can repay the kindness of your teacher by not having any fire, and by not getting angry. I only wish for one thing: that my disciples will not have any temper.” I sincerely hope that I will someday be able to practice this Dharma of “If people scold you, you should laugh” to perfection for only then can I begin to repay the Venerable Master’s great kindness.
A Sutra says, “In the heavens and human realm, there is no strength greater than patience; giving and holding precepts cannot compare with it. Patient people have great strength and can shoulder the work of the Tathagata.”
The Venerable Master established a sanctuary where the followers of all religions can take refuge. And in 1987, the World Religions Conference was held in CTTB: Protestants, Catholics and followers of other religions were invited. It is said, “The best religion in the world is TOLERANCE.” If followers of all religions can unite and work for world peace, then there will not be any wars or walls between people and nations. We are now living in the age of decline, an age that is strong in fighting. So, when I first came to the Sagely City in 1990, I was delighted to have arrived at a place where the residents neither deliberately step on ants nor kill little creatures that are regarded as pests by most people. Albert Schweitzer said: “Any religion which is not based on a respect for life is not a true religion. Until he extends his circle of compassion to all living things, man himself will not find peace.”
It is said that kindness can bring happiness and compassion can alleviate suffering. When lecturing on the
Avatamsaka Sutra, the Venerable Master explained, “Kindness is the mother-substance of good roots...Kindness and compassion are the most important virtues that cultivators must have...If you hold precepts with a kind heart, your precepts carry boundless merit and virtue. If you can cultivate patience with a kind heart, that patience has boundless merit and virtue... Kindness is just the Buddha; the Buddha is simply kindness. Kindness is the Great Vehicle Dharma door...”
At this point, I recall a little verse:
So many gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
When just the art of being kind,
Is all this sad world needs.
Everyone has the power to improve the fate of mankind. If we can help preserve and perpetuate the Wisdom Light of the Great Sages, we can revive and restore the pure sacredness of our Mother Earth. When all living beings and plants bathe in the radiance of such a pure and efficacious energy, then the Golden Age will again manifest. “United we stand, divided we fall.” If all religious people can be united, then there is hope. Instead of cursing the darkness, let us light a candle and advance together. We will have a better future!
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