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法語法雨

 

Dharma Talk Dharma Rain

宣公上人法語By VENERABLE MASTERH SUAN HUA  
當別入不喜歡你時...  
When People Don't Like You

修行的路上,有時你會失去方向,有時不知如何修行。好像站在十字路口,而不知何去何從。這時要有智慧和定力,還得要持戒。與人相處,有時你會對某些人特別好,但是他們卻恩將仇報,越是對他們好,他們對你越壞。遭遇這種境界時,就應破除自己的執著。甚麼執著?就是你對人要好的執著。恩將仇報者皆是反面教化我們的善知識,他們在幫助我們如何面對艱難處之泰然,此乃我個人修行的體會,漸次的受到這些欺侮及考驗。這些欺侮及考驗,正是試驗我們是否會有退心。若你真能明白,則順逆皆精進。  

偈云  
行有不得反求諸已,愛人不親反其仁。
治人不治反其智,禮人不答反其敬。  

或許你對某些人很好,但是他們卻不願接近你,那時你就要迴光返照,自己的慈心夠不夠呢?若是夠了,他們終究會被你感動而往好去做。若人不聽時,則應迴光返照:我是否給人壓迫感呢?若你向人點點頭或示好,而他們卻當作沒看到,你就要想:我是否真誠的尊敬他們?若你能夠常常迴光返照,則離道不遠,已在道中。

不過說起來容易,做起來可是不容易的。

 


In cultivating the Way, sometimes you may find that you are unable to find the Path that you don't know how to go about cultivating. You may run into a fork in the road and not know which way to go. At such a time you need to have wisdom and samadhi power, and also hold the precepts. As to dealing with people, sometimes you may be especially good to some people but they return your kindness with dislike. The better you are to them, the worse they treat you. When you encounter this situation, you must break your attachment. What attachment? Your attachment to being good to people! When the better you are to people the worse they are to you, they are being your "reverse" good knowing advisors. They are helping you to learn to take it easy when the going gets rough. This is based on my own experience in cultivation. Every step of the way, I have encountered such abuse and these tests. Abuse and tests are there just to see whether you will go forward or retreat. If you really understand, you will be vigorous in both agreeable and opposing states. There is a saying:

If your ideas aren't working, look within yourself;
If you are kind to people and they don't reciprocate,
take a look at your kindness.
If you give people orders and they don't follow them,
take a look at your orders.
If you pay respect to people and they don't return it,
take a look at your manners.

Perhaps you are very nice to someone, but he or she is not willing to get close to you. In that case, return the light to see if your kindness is really adequate. If it is, eventually you will influence the other person to turn towards the good. If people don't follow your instructions, return the light and think, "Could I be laying power trips on people?" If you nod or do a half-bow when you see people, but they act as if they didn't even see you, once again, return the light and think, "Am I being sincerely respectful toward them?"

If you can always return the light, you won't be too far away from the Path. You are on your way. This is very easy to talk about but very difficult to do!

 

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