業有三種：善、惡、無記。我們必須知道業是可以轉的；佛教從不主張業是命定的，也不主張宿命論。我們轉變業力的方法就是用「心」，你可以學習去觀照一件事 - - 在你沒做前，正做時，或已做後，都可觀照。當你靜坐了一會兒後 ，這種能力就會發展出來。當你已經做下了一件事，在處理善後時你仍可以改變業力。如果你掌握的能力漸佳，你可以在做一件事之前改變這個業；當你已經發展出一些禪定的功夫，或者你可以在採取行動之時改變這個業。甚至事情已經做了之後，都仍可以改變它的業力。這就是佛法之妙處。佛法的業力觀永遠充滿希望，所以當你想給絕望的孩子一些正面的思想時，佛法中對於「業」以及「心」的積極的觀點，確會給人希望。
Many valuable Confucian and Daoist concepts fit well with Buddhist principle and all three had a great impact on Chinese and other Asian societies. We should not forget about them now.
When two people marry and become parents, it shouldn't just be a marriage of convenience, in terms of making money or social status. Marriage is something you have to work at. When I hear a statistic that says that half the families in this country are divorced, that doesn't exclude the people sitting here. Initial love and enjoyment of one another is one thing, but marriage is something you have to work at. You have to take the good with the bad. Before we can get to the problem of the children, we have to get to the problem of the adults and solve it, or cope with it, or confront it, or admit it.
From a Buddhist perspective, I believe that two things can help. I pass them to you today hoping that you will investigate them and find them useful. I believe that meditation can help you, as a parent, you as a peer, and you as an individual. I also believe that an understanding of cause and effect can help you as a parent, you as a peer, and you as an individual.
I will talk a little about both of these: meditation and cause and effect. I think that they should be confronted, considered, and dealt with simultaneously. When I first encountered Buddhism several decades ago, the approach that our teacher used was a simultaneous one: I will tell you a little principle, and then you go meditate on it. And then I will tell you a little more, and you go and meditate on it. And then, pretty soon I won't have to tell you so much because you will be discovering things during your meditation.
I believe some of the ideas that were presented here today deserve some meditation on the part of parents. Before you even try to approach the child, perhaps you need to take a little time and center yourself. Meditation quiets you down. It doesn't take long. Busy people, as most of you are, don't need to sacrifice a lot of that valuable time. It can work fairly quickly, when you become accustomed to doing it. It centers you. It lets you know yourself physically—many of us do not have body awareness, especially people involved in business and other professions that keep them very busy. They tend to be worried about other people's body awareness and not their own.
Meditation also helps you watch your mind, and by watching your mind you can find out who you are, what your point of view is, and then from that you can start to think about how am I relating to my peer, how am I relating to my parents, or how am I relating to my child, and more importantly, how am I relating to my own individual karma? What am I doing about that? It also enables you to perceive the spirit: it's illusive; it doesn't like too much activity and business, and so you have to quiet down, and then it will settle around you and you will know it, because it is you—it is part of you.
The other thing meditation does is that it cleanses as it purges. It is not pleasant a lot of the time, because it forces you to face yourself, and most of us have a lot of things we would rather not face. And so I recommend it. First of all, I recommend it for the parents. And then maybe you can introduce your child to it.
The second is the law of cause and effect, and already it is prevalent. It has been prevalent for years among the youth, the very youth we're so worried about. What do they say? "What goes around comes around." That phrase might be given a Christian interpretation, but let's make a Buddhist interpretation here. You can start with a kid, and I have done it many times, who is having trouble. Just start with what they already know; what's on the tip of their tongue. The kind of lingo or language they use. And then give it an interpretation in terms of cause and effect. "What goes around, comes around," is one example of how close to understanding cause and effect people are. Almost everybody you meet who is young knows that one.
Another way of saying it which helps young people, when they're confronted with "why me?" is "we are what we have done, and what we do we will become." Using something simple, you sometimes can connect. And if you are successful in connecting, then there can be communication, and you can go in a little deeper.
Karma comes in three kinds: good, evil, and neutral. People need to know that. Karma can also be changed, because Buddhism does not teach that karma is fixed at all—it does not support any idea of predetermination. The way we change karma is with our minds. You can learn to look at event before you have done it, while you are doing it, and after you did it. Once you meditate for a while, you will start to develop this ability. If you have already done something, you still have the after-you-did-it to deal with. You can still change your karma in that stage. You can change it before you did it—when you get better at catching it; you can change it while you are in the act of doing it—once you have developed some samadhi and you get some concentration; but, you can always change it after you have done it. That's the beauty of the Buddhist