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《菩提田》

 

BODHI FIELD

佛教青年會會議
Dharma Realm Buddhist Youth Conference

比丘尼恆貴 講於萬佛城大殿2000年7月11日晚 By Bhikshuni Heng Gwei at the Buddha Hall, CTTB on the evening of July 11, 2000
比丘尼恆奘 英譯 English translation by Bhikshuni Heng Jhuang

原定今晚講法的人很忙,沒有時間準備,所以希望我補上。恰好今天我幫忙〈金剛菩提海〉月刊整理上次我跟大家報告的「佛教青年會會議」的情況,主編的師兄弟也希望我繼續講述當時的情況。

記得上次我跟大家報告時說,個人覺得這次的會議是十分成功的,所謂成功,並不是說人多熱鬧,而是在從籌備到舉行「佛教青年會會議」的整個過程中,我看到那些年輕人對於成立「佛教青年會」的熱誠,還有看到我們萬佛聖城多年培育出來的子弟兵校友,對於佛法深刻的體悟,感到非常欣慰,也見到很多的家長,非常熱衷地支持和渴望「佛教青年會」早日成立。此外,我們師兄弟間的融洽和合,全力以赴,一起努力來把這個會議圓滿,因此我個人覺得這次會議是很成功的。

記得以前看過一個統計,美國年輕人致命的原因有三:第一車禍,第二吸毒,第三自殺,所以在這個國家,在這個時代,很多年輕人在人生旅途上都失去了方向,對人生的價值非常消極迷惘。因此成立「佛教青年會」,把年輕人組織起來,帶上光明的前途,是一個很需要而且很有意義的使命。

在聖城培養多年的子弟兵中,其中一個學生把她的感言說出來;她自己非常感動,我們聽了也非常感動。她告訴我們去年是她負責聯絡統籌,今年她協助她的同學做統籌人,從兩次的經驗中她學習到很多,對佛法的體會也比較深刻。過去她全家人住在萬佛聖城七、八年,或者有九年了,她說以前在聖城上學時是一個問題學生,對學校很多的規矩非常不滿;又男女分校,又不能這樣不能那樣,她內心非常的反叛,很多時候很想離開,不要在這個學校讀書了。但是她父母是非常虔誠的佛教徒,所以她沒辦法,只好待下來繼續讀書。但是畢業之後,出去面對現實社會種種的問題時,竟然是佛法幫助了她,而且還讓她體會到很多的道理。

譬如,她說這次在會議當中舉辦了一個座談會,她負責的講座題目是「快樂、自由、真理。」這三樣東西都是年輕人最嚮往而在追求的,但是她說,「我們年輕人對什麼是真正的快樂,什麼是真正的自由,都不知道」。所以她在這個座談會討論時就提出幾個問題,她說:「我們在座的是不是都追求快樂,請舉手!」結果大家都舉手。「我們都願意自由,大家是不是都這樣子?」所有的年輕人都舉手。「我們有沒有人曾經非常沮喪,沮喪到想自殺過的?有沒有這個經驗?」她說幾乎全部的人都舉手,只有一個小孩子沒有舉手;他只有十三歲,還沒有到這個境界,不知道什麼叫沮喪得要自殺。這個小孩也有很多的體會,等一下再給大家報告。

那麼她就說,我們年輕人根本不知道什麼是真正的自由、快樂,所以就胡作非為,也不愛守規矩;聽見規矩就討厭,盲目追求自由,結果毀掉自己的幾乎是佔全部份。她說她以前一直反叛,反對父母,反對老師,但是現在經過這兩次的會議,還有各個不同的講座,讓她體會到一點,就是說其實我們人,一生都在respond,反應外界。外界有什麼來刺激我們,我們只是反應這個外境,一生就不斷的反應著。譬如外邊給我們很多的肯定,很多的快樂,那我們就反應很快樂;外境給我們很多挫折,很多痛苦,我們就一直反應那些不滿的情緒等等。所以她發現原來我們人沒有一個主宰,只是一直反應,反應外界。也就是說我們裡邊帶著無始以來的貪、瞋、癡,就看我們裡邊的貪瞋癡有多少,我們的反應就有相對的強烈度。所以她說:「我終於瞭解了,其實不是外面給我們麻煩,是我們自己沒有打掃好,沒有弄乾淨自己而已。」所以她現在不反對了。

那麼我們問她,你現在要不要搬出來住啊?她說:「她不願意搬出來,因為她是大姊姊,要幫助爸爸媽媽照顧家庭。」過去在萬佛城學校讀書的時候,她非常不能跟父親溝通,幾幾乎反目成仇,現在她非常體諒她的父母。她講的時候,她自己都感動得流淚。我們看到她真誠的告白,也替她覺得很安慰。

第二點的體會是,雖然她很反叛,但是她還有一點善根,她很喜歡佛教的哲理,所以在我們學校時,或者出去讀大學時,她看很多講佛教哲理的書。但是她終於體會到,書本即使告訴我們道理,假如我們不修行道德的話,講不出話來。所以她說還是要有修行,要有德行,她能夠體悟到佛法在行不在說。還有她終於能夠明白,真正的修行和道德,是非常重要的,所以我說聽到同學們在日用平常中體悟佛法,明白到真理,這是一個很大的欣慰。

待續


Tonight I was called up to lecture because someone else is unable to come up for her turn. Today I happened to be editing the report I made about the Dharma Realm Buddhist Youth (DRBY) Conference for publication in Vajra Bodhi Sea. The main editor asked me to share some more about that conference.

Personally I felt that the conference was very successful, not because many people attended, but because all these young people were very sincere and enthusiastic. We were glad to see that the young people who were nurtured for years at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas had some deep insights into Buddhism. Their parents were also very supportive and hoped that DRBY would soon be established. All the Dharma brothers also cooperated and contributed their full effort in supporting the conference. Therefore, I feel that the conference was very successful.

I remember reading a report stating that the three major causes of death of young people in the United States are: (1) auto accidents, (2) drug overdose, and (3) suicide. Young Americans in the present age are disoriented. Without values to guide their lives, they are lost and apathetic. DRBY has been founded with the urgent and meaningful mission of leading young people to a bright future.

One of the students who grew up at the CTTB shared her thoughts, which were very moving. She told us that she has learned a great deal from coordinating last year's conference and assisting with the coordination of this year's conference. She has gained a more profound understanding of the Buddhadharma as well. Her family lived at the CTTB for eight or nine years. She was a rebellious student who disagreed with the school's rules and the policy of separating boys and girls. She wanted to leave many times. However, her parents were very sincere Buddhists, so she was forced to stay here. After she graduated, however, she went out into the society and was faced with all its problems. At that time, the Buddhadharma helped her, allowing her to understand many principles.

During the conference, she was the discussion moderator for a panel discussion on "Happiness, Freedom, and the Truth." She asked the young people there, "What is true happiness? Freedom? What is the truth?" She asked them to raise their hands if they wanted happiness. They all raised their hands. She asked, "Is anyone looking for freedom?" And they all raised their hands. Everyone was looking for freedom. Then she asked them if at any time, they had been sad and wanted to commit suicide. Everyone raised his or her hand, except for one thirteen-year-old boy who didn't know enough to be depressed; he wasn't at that stage yet. He has experienced a lot too. I will report that later.

She said that although they all sought happiness, freedom, and truth, none of them could actually find or know them. They didn't like rules before, and they sought only the happiness of the mundane world. She used to rebel against her parents and teachers, but through these two conferences, she has realized that people are constantly responding to the external world. If external states make us happy, then we are happy. When the situation is difficult, then we suffer and get upset. We constantly react to the outside world, instead of being in control of our own emotions. That's because for infinite eons, we have carried the three poisons of greed, anger and delusion. The amount of greed, anger, and delusion we have influences the way we respond to the world. If we are free of these three poisons, then we will always be happy.

Then we asked her if she is still thinking of moving away from her family and living outside. She said that she's not thinking about moving to any other place because she wants to take care of her parents and her younger brothers. She now comprehends that her parents put in a lot of effort in taking care of her. She really wants to pay back their kindness. Her sincerity in that talk was very moving. We were also reassured by her sincere sharing.

Another insight that she had was that although she is very rebellious, she still has some good roots. She really likes Buddhist philosophy. When she was in school or college, she read lots of books on Buddhist philosophy. She felt that although the books told us the principles, but if we don't cultivate the Way and virtue, then it doesn't make sense. She realized that she must still cultivate and be virtuous, that the Buddhadharma is in practice and not in talking. Furthermore, she finally understood that to truly cultivate and be virtuous is very important to being human. It was a great consolation to hear that these students were realizing the Buddhadharma in their daily lives and gaining insight into truth.

To be continued

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