「好了!你們看看誰撲滿裡的錢最多。」
大舅對其弟妹們說著。木造的撲滿一打開,他很不相信地問母親:「你的錢跑哪去了?」母親說她從來不放錢進去;每天她都將
一皮亞〈緬甸錢一仙〉,她四份之一的零用錢捐給慈善基金救濟失明和老年的人。在她就讀的基督教會學校,每次丟一皮亞進捐款碗裏,老師就囑咐她在黑板上畫個記號。她大約七、八歲讀幼稚園時就這麼做了。
十二歲那年,母親從外婆那學會了每月初一、十五,及觀音節慶時吃齋。對於母親這是很自然的事。當時她還不懂得如何看農
曆日子呢!
十四歲時,第二次世界大戰爆發,彈火瀰天,人人慌恐,當時母親對從飛機上快速下掉,形似香蕉的黑色東西感到很好奇;她哥哥還得跑出去把她拉進屋後的地窖躲藏。戰爭期間,母親眼家人跑到克鐵村莊鄉下外婆親威家避難,四家二十口人擠在一個屋頂下。克鐵村莊位於愛拉哇地河岸,在帕羅和首都仰光之間。一次從房子的裂縫裡她看到許多英國士兵走過,兩天後日本士兵也通過克鐵村莊,可是兩軍沒打鬥。她覺得村民對日本士兵的歡迎程度遠比對殖民地統治者英國的士兵高,而感到有趣。
母親在鄉下時對村裡的緬甸婦人很感興趣,大部份的緬甸婦人在黃昏時,手拿鮮花到當地的塔廟朝拜。她又發現全村的人都是吃素的,市場賣的儘是瓜果、番茄、番薯、
豆子。母親一家在那逗留了一年,以為戰爭結束了〈後來知道是謠言〉,才搬回仰光。
戰後,外祖母對母親說:「妳在家幫我照顧弟妹。」作為一個順從的女兒,母親七年級沒讀完便停學在家打點家務,為家人做衣服。
四十五年前未婚時,母親在星加坡買了一尊觀音菩薩像,現在還保存著。母親像大部份緬甸人一樣,除了虔誠禮敬觀音菩薩之外,常用唸珠唸誦
anicca,dukkha, anatta
〈無常、苦、無我〉。那時母親未來的婆婆和觀音菩薩也有緣。一次火災差不多把她住的朝克鎮燒平,當火快燒到她住的小屋時,她趕忙燃香禮觀世音菩薩。很奇怪,火勢轉向,朝著鄰近的河流燒去。人都說那火是一隻龍的化身。
母親有六個兒女,每次懷孕頭四、五個月她對葷腥沒有一點興趣,只用少少的育豆和蔬菜下粥。她的傭工看她吃得那麼津津有味,也學她那樣吃,才驚覺並不是很有味道。每次母親生產時,醫生總是問她陣痛來了沒有,她也總是很天真地問醫生應該在哪兒疼痛,因為母親從未經驗過生產的疼痛。她總是一心念佛,對觀世音菩薩的有求必應充滿信心。
一九七二年我們一家六口遷來美國,母親小心翼翼地將她那尊觀音菩薩像也帶來了美國。一九八七年皈依上人以後,她修觀音法門的大悲咒,而且還跟著女兒吃長素。
她雖然不懂中文,也不懂羅馬拼音,但她聽著別人唸而學會了唸大悲咒,她每天盡量唸108遍大悲咒。對於觀世音菩薩加被保祐她,就像她常長憶念著觀世音菩薩一樣,她是深信不疑的。
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"Okay, let's check all your boxes and see
who has the most money." My mother's eldest brother said to
his younger brother and sister. All the savings boxes made
of wooden slats were broken open. After he looked at all of
them, he asked my mother in disbelief, "Where did all your
money go?" She said she never put anything into her savings
box. She had been giving away one pya (a penny in Myanmar -
modern name of Burma), a quarter of her daily allowance,
into the charity funds for the blind and the elders.
Everyday in her class at the Christian school, after she
dropped her pya into the donation bowl, her teacher would
ask her to go to the blackboard and mark off with a tally
line. She had been doing that since she started kindergarten
about the age of seven or eight.
When she was twelve years old, she
learned from her mother to eat only vegetarian food on the
first and fifteenth days of the lunar month and the days
dedicated to Guanyin Bodhisattva, even though she didn't
know how to read the lunar calendar yet.
She was fourteen when World War II
started. Bombs were flying. People were in panic. She was
only curious to watch the black things the size of bananas
coming down from the fast diving planes. Her elder brother
pulled her down in the ground pit behind their house where
they were hiding. At one time during the war, to find a safe
place from all the chaos of war, her whole family went to
the village of Kyi-tair to stay with her mother's
relatives-all four families of about twenty people under one
roof. The village was on the coast of Irrawaddy River
between Prome and the capital city of Rangoon. One time, she
saw from between the cracks in the house many British
soldiers walking through. Two days later she saw Japanese
soldiers pass through the village. No fighting between them
took place in that village, though. She found it interesting
that villagers came out to welcome the Japanese whereas they
did not do the same for the British, who were Myanmar's
colonial rulers.
Nevertheless, she was fascinated by the
sight of village women, most of whom were Burmese, going off
early every evening to worship at the local pagoda, each of
them holding a flower. She found out that the whole village
was vegetarian. No shrimp, fish, or meat was sold there at
all; the market sold mostly squash, tomatoes, potatoes, and
beans. After about a year there, hearing that the war was
over (it turned out to be a rumor), her family moved back to
Rangoon.
After the war was over, her mother said
to her, "Why don't you help me take care of your younger
sisters and brothers?" Being a compliant daughter, she
obeyed her mother. She stopped her studies before completing
seventh grade. She started helping around the house and
making clothes for everybody in the family.
Before my mother got married forty-five
years ago, she acquired an adorned Guan Yin Bodhisattva
statue from Singapore that she still worships. She piously
paid respect to Guan Yin Bodhisattva in addition to reciting
anicca, dukkha, anatta (impermanence, suffering, no-self) on
her recitation bead, as most Burmese Buddhists were
practicing. Her future mother-in-law also had an affinity
with Guanyin. One time, there was a fire that almost
destroyed the whole town of Chauk where she was living. When
the fire almost reached her hut, she quickly lit incense at
the altar where she worshipped Guanyin Bodhisattva.
Strangely enough, the fire changed its course near her hut
and went into the nearby river. People believed that fire to
be a manifestation of a dragon.
When she was pregnant with each of her
six children, for the first four or five months she lost her
appetite for meat or any other food for that matter, eating
only simple food like rice gruel with a little bit of green
beans and vegetables. Seeing her eating voraciously, her
housemaid tried it and found out with dismay that it was
actually tasteless. Whenever the time drew near to giving
birth, her doctor would ask her whether she felt pain or
not. She would ask the doctor innocently, "Where is the pain
supposed to be?" She never had any labor pain during any of
her pregnancies. She was mindful of the Buddha and always
had faith in Guanyin Bodhisattva.
When she came to the United States with
all her six children in 1972, she carefully and protectively
carried her Guanyin statue along with her. In 1987, after
she took refuge with Venerable Master Hua, she encountered
Guanyin Bodhisattva's Dharma door of the Great Compassion
Mantra and became a vegetarian along with her daughters.
Although she couldn't read the Chinese characters or the
romanization for the mantra, she managed to learn this
mantra from listening to others reciting it. Now she tries
her best to recite the Great Compassion Mantra 108 times a
day. She knows without any doubt that Guanyin Bodhisattva is
mindful and protective of her the way she is mindful of the
Bodhisattva.
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