每一個人的人生旅途都是一樣。一樣的是生命是寶貴的。這是因為「人身難得」之故。對我來說，更難得的是有緣遇聞佛法，而又在茫茫的人海中遇到了宣公上人。上人常說，他是一隻「小螞蟻」。我想這句話的意義很深。世界上的螞蟻誰人算得盡？而在螞蟻中要找你想找的那隻「小螞蟻」，難之又難。不是以往所種下的因緣，怎樣互相碰面？這也是所謂命中註定吧？
遇上上人以後，我的一生起了很大的變化。心靈旅程經歷了一次又一次的考驗，掙扎及衝擊。生命是很頑強的，心靈是很頑固的。往世做過什麼我不知，來世將會怎樣更不知，今生應該怎樣卻茫然。這是多麼的危險。所以「迷時師度」在此時刻更形重要。就這樣的，那無形的力量，一步一步的引導我來到了萬佛城。事情是怎樣開始的？這也能算是感應嗎？
我的名字叫顏亞日，上人給法名果日，一九五一年在馬來西亞出生。我母懷我時曾想墮胎。但我命不該絕，懷胎十二個月，生下了「我」。小時多病，貪生怕死。有時聽到天災人禍之事，晚上必定做惡夢，半夜醒來找尋媽媽保護。我家貧困，我是家中唯一幸運讀上大學的人。一九七六年，我在馬來西亞大學物理學教育系畢業。而後到離開家鄉四百里外的地方當中學教師，在那段時間，我不知什麼是佛法，卻對清真教很敬佩，因為他們教理強調清淨。我的學生百分之九十八是清真教徒，我羨慕他們有所皈依。
◆萬佛聖城一景
A scene at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
一九八二年，我開始接觸佛法，隨緣皈依會緣法師。當年我的大女兒出世不久，每到黃昏必大哭不止。岳母以為其中必有原因，要我夫婦把家中的「四面佛」送到佛教會開光。當天是佛誕日。會緣法師問我皈依否？我問什麼是皈依？什麼是三寶？師答：「若只拜佛像，不皈依三寶只能是佛教的同情者。」我為之震驚。時與內人向信徒們問明事理後，偕同內人一起皈依。
同事黃礒光居士見我心誠，介紹我認識了楊果新居士。得知師父上人在美國成立了萬佛聖城，及師父的出家弟子完成三步一拜的壯舉，因此心生仰慕，借了《度輪禪師事蹟》閱讀。讀完之後，感嘆自己為窮教師，沒能力到美國萬佛聖城一遊。
◆萬佛聖城一景
A scene at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
一九八三年，我搬遷到雪蘭莪州加影埠執教。當時想，見不到上人，先向他求皈依也無妨。於是寫信向師父求授皈依。出乎所料之外，師父竟然答應了，並指示我與妻子，早晚在佛前拜願兩個鐘頭，師父將在聖城為我二人授三皈依。當天正好是本師釋迦牟尼佛聖誕日。
一九八五年，妻子鼓勵我移居聖城，協助師父為佛教出力。我於是修了一封信給師父，師父回答說：「機緣成熟時，水到渠成。」所以當時便暫時按下此意。過後不久，達摩難陀上座托人尋找自願者到獄中傳教。我與內人都接受了這項工作。因為心中不安，所以來信向師父上人請示。師父開示說：「正人說邪法，邪法也正；邪人說正法，正法也邪。」因此，便安心的工作了二年左右。
一九八六年，內人發心到聖城參加萬佛寶懺法會。當時手上儲蓄不足，心中非常難過，不過還是讓她先報名。到要出發的時日，儲蓄竟然正好足夠，結果成行。在法會期間，內人體驗了聖城的清淨生活及高尚的道風，同時也有諸多感應，有留連忘返之意。臨走時向觀世音菩薩求願，讓我明年有機會到聖城一趟。回來馬來西亞以後，內人念念不忘聖城，期望將來能到聖城來。我心中卻不以為然，認為她能有機緣出國到美國去，已算是幸運了。來年的機會如何先別夢想。豈料第二年，我真的也到聖城來。
一九八七年，在師父的邀請下，我專程的來聖城參加了水陸空大法會及世界宗教會議。在飛機上，我在半睡半醒中，看見了師父上機迎接我們。身邊還跟了一位年輕不知法號的比丘。到聖城後，發現聖城真有此比丘。遇到師父時，心想師父弟子不計其數，不知師父記得我否，更何況未曾與師父見面。當時向師父介紹說：「我是亞日，馬來西亞來的。」師父說：「你姓顏，是不是？」使我驚喜萬分。在聖城期間，我問師父：「我能為聖城做什麼？」師父回答說：「不要只為聖城，應該為佛教做事。」再問師父能做什麼，師父回答說：「拔草。」後來又問：「我的妻兒怎辨？」師父答道：「我也不知道。」
回到馬來西亞後，我的學生們看到水陸空法會的照片，都讚嘆不已。其中佛學會的學生，也向聖城索請經書，其中有人，喜愛閱讀。有一位同學畢業後竟然發心到臺灣正法佛學院去修學佛法，她現在已出家在萬佛聖城跟師父上人做弘法利生的工作。
一九八八年十一月，師父又來馬來西亞弘揚正法。而後留下恆蘇師在馬來西亞辦理法務。有人建議應該在馬來西亞找尋一塊土地，若有固定道場，師父要來弘法也方便。當時楊果新居士向內人談起時，內人忽然想起曾夢見師父在附近的武來岸有道場，而且在此弘法。便和楊果新居士一起去視察。豈料竟然有人在此時有塊山地要售，楊果新之兄便發心把地買下，後來上人改名為「如來岸」。不久，恆蘇師應邀，到舍下為大眾說法，來聽法者七十多人。當晚法師離去，我也法喜充滿而入眠。在夢中，竟然看見韋馱尊天菩薩現身：先是來到一所古廟，韋馱菩薩的身像已被塵封。而他的手先發紅光，接著全身塵脫而現出雄偉的將軍像。菩薩要我先喝一碗清水，然後從我雙脅下一撐，便把我帶到虛空中去。菩薩要我上下前後左右觀看。我看見四面八方都是無盡的虛空，頭頂腳下有各種世間看不到的朵朵彩雲，前方更有白雲顯現的清晰龍頭。我心中不解，便回頭看韋馱菩薩，此時菩薩竟然不知所去。而我又回到了該古廟之處。
◆聖城的一切，是那麼的熟悉。
Everything in the City seems so familiar to me.
此後，我對師父弘法的工作更加有信心。一九九二年四月，法界佛教訪問團又來馬來西亞，此次舉辦萬佛寶懺。我便發心請假協助工作，為期三個星期。過後吉隆坡的道場也搬遷到現在的紫雲洞。八月間，紫雲洞舉辦訪問團到聖城參加第二次水陸空大法會。內人又想參加。我說我們那間小屋子已賣了，如果你想去，不如四個孩子也一起帶去，讓他們有機會到萬佛城一遊，旅費也沒有問題。當時我們所憂愁的是：一個大人帶著四個孩子，簽證那天，我們帶著戰戰兢兢的心情到美國大使館去，大使館人員竟然和顏悅色的批准了。
到了聖城，孩子竟然非常喜歡，而且申請留下在中小學讀書。我在馬來西亞收到信後，緊張起來，孩子的讀書費用怎辨？後來又想，如果能在聖城讀上二、三年，費用沒有了再回來也沒關係。因此，便在十一月假期間到聖城探望他們。法師建議我辭去教職，到聖城當義務老師。內人也說師父答應我到聖城教書。因此，我便申請為法界佛教大學的學生，可以一面學佛法，一面教書。
一九九三年二月，法大的批准信來了，我心中開始掙扎。去還是不去？去嗎，要先辭去穩定的工作，奔向一個還不知會怎樣的前程，而且是一家六口人。非常難做出決定。不去嗎，我又不願意讓孩子及自己失去親近佛法的機會。做出決定後，另一個矛盾又出現了，辭職需要六個月，而學生簽証要在出發前兩個月內才能申請。萬一辭職了，學生簽證又不批准，兩頭不達岸怎麼辨？到時工作沒有了，去聖城又不成行，那怎麼好呢？後來還是下定決心，把辭職信交上。如此東奔西跑了六個月，先是批准辭職的信先到，然後學生簽證也批准了。一時才放下心中大石。那個時候內人也已先從聖城回來馬來西亞，我們便急忙的把家中可賣可送的東西都賣送出去，一起帶著最小的女兒，來到了萬佛聖城。
聖城的一切，是那麼的熟悉。麒麟精舍的後面，竟然是我以前在水陸空法會中夢見過的松樹林。我夢見過一行行的比丘站滿在這松樹林內，黃衣橙色袈裟，非常莊嚴，他們正在向前方走去。而我現在正好就住在麒麟精舍。
現在，我發現的事情更多了。師父上人是多麼的慈悲偉大，他為佛法肩負各種重擔而不言倦，整個佛教事業，是靠他自己以硬骨頭支撐及建立起來的。信徒給他的協助，並不足以把整個事業建立起來。以前的高僧大德依靠皇帝建立道場翻譯經典。美國的社會，哪來的皇帝？哪來的眾多信徒的供養？而現在眾多出家及在家弟子，為了佛教工作，也沒有了入息，這麼多的道場，怎樣維持？師父上人除了弘法及翻譯經典的工作之外，也要為佛教事業的經費而操心及努力，這不是一般人能做好的。
法界佛教總會需要更多的人發心出錢出力。已發心的人更應該團結一致，群策群力，把組織架構更完善的建立起來，並為這個機構打下一個穩定的經濟基礎，在師父上人的領導下，策劃出一個長遠的目標與計劃，為將來的佛教發展建立起穩定的基地，才能確保將來的發展。為正法佛教開拓一個光明的前程。
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Everyone is travelling the same path of life. Each person’s life is precious because “the human body is hard to obtain.” And I have been even luckier in that I have encountered the Buddhadharma, and moreover, among the multitudes of people, I have met the Venerable Master Hua. The Master often says that he is a tiny ant. To me, this statement carries deep meaning. Who could count all the ants in this world? And how extremely difficult it would be to find this one particular tiny ant among all those ants. If it were not for conditions developed in the past, how could I have met him? It must have been fate.
After meeting the Venerable Master, my life underwent a great change. My heart and soul underwent repeated tests and I was troubled by inner struggle and conflict. Life is full of perversity, and the mind is very stubborn. What a dangerous situation we are in, not knowing what we did in previous lives, not knowing what will happen in lives to come, and not knowing what we should be doing in this life. It is of utmost importance that we have a teacher to guide and rescue us when we are thus confused. And that is why an invisible force has guided me step by step to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. How did it all begin? Could this be a response?
My name is Agis Gan, and my Dharma name is Guo Ri. I was born in 1951 in Malaysia. When my mother conceived me, she considered getting an abortion. But it was not time for me to die, and so after a twelve-month pregnancy, I was born. I was afflicted with many illnesses in childhood and was always scared of dying. Whenever I heard people talking about disasters or accidents, I would always wake up from nightmares in the middle of the night and seek my mother’s protection. My family was poor, and I was the only one who was fortunate enough to be able to study at a university. I graduated from the Department of Physics Education at the University of Malaysia in 1976 and later became a teacher at a high school that was four hundred miles from my hometown. During that time, I didn’t know anything about the Buddhadharma, but I respected and admired Islam, which emphasizes purity. Ninety-eight percent of my students were Muslims, and I envied them for having a belief to rely upon.
In 1982 I began to have contact with Buddhism, and I took refuge with Dharma Master Hui Yuan. At that time my first daughter had just been born, and she would usually cry non-stop at dusk every day. My mother-in-law thought there had to be a reason behind this and suggested that my wife and I send our four-faced Buddha image to the Buddhist association to have an initiation ceremony performed on it. The day we went happened to be the Buddha’s birthday, and Dharma Master Hui Yuan asked me if I had taken refuge. I asked him what taking refuge meant and what the Triple Jewel was. He answered, “If you bow to the Buddhas, but fail to take refuge with the Triple Jewel, you can only be considered a Buddhist sympathizer.” I was astonished, and so, after my wife and I asked about the details of the matter, we both took refuge with Dharma Master Hui Yuan.
My colleague, Upasaka Huang Shiguang, seeing my sincerity, introduced me to another layman, Michael (Guo Xin) Yang. From him I learned that the Venerable Master had founded the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas in the United States, and that his disciples had just completed a pilgrimage of prostrating themselves every three steps. Full of admiration, I borrowed a copy of the book The Records of the Life of Dhyana Master To Lun. After reading it, I lamented that I was only a poor teacher who did not have the resources to make a trip to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas in America.
In 1983, I moved to Kang, Selangor, and took a teaching post in the school there. At that point, I reasoned that since I wasn’t able to meet the Venerable Master, I could at least first request to take refuge with him. I wrote a letter to the Master requesting to take refuge, and to my complete surprise, the Master agreed and also instructed my wife and me to bow to the Buddhas for two hours each day, in the morning and evening. The Master also told us he would let us take refuge at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. The day we took refuge was Shakyamuni Buddha’s birthday.
In 1985, my wife encouraged me to move to the City and help the Master by doing some work for Buddhism. So I wrote a letter to the Master and received the Master’s reply: “When the conditions are ripe, the matter will take care of itself.” Therefore I temporarily set this matter aside. Afterwards, Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera was looking for volunteers to preach in jail. My wife and I agreed to take on this job, but we felt a bit uneasy, so we wrote a letter requesting advice from the Master. The Master instructed, “When an upright person speaks deviant dharma, the deviant dharma becomes proper; when a deviant person speaks the proper Dharma, the proper Dharma becomes deviant.” Our minds were set at ease and we worked for about two years.
In 1986, my wife brought forth the resolve to attend the Ten Thousand Buddhas’ Jewelled Repentance Ceremony. At that time I felt very bad because I didn’t have enough savings, but I still told her to go ahead and register first. By the day she was to leave, I had saved up enough for her to make the trip. During the repentance session, she experienced the pure life and lofty practices of the City, as well as many responses, and consequently she didn’t feel like returning to Malaysia. Right before she left the City, she prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to give me a chance to come to the City in the following year. After she returned to Malaysia, she could not forget the City and wished to come back. I didn’t have the same hope, for I thought she was already lucky enough to go to the United States that year and there was no need to dream about getting another chance in years to come. I never expected that I would also come to the City the following year.
◆萬佛聖城一景
A scene at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
In 1987, upon the Master’s invitation, I made a special trip to attend the Water, Land, and Air Dharma Assembly and the World Religions Conference. On the plane, when I was half-asleep, I saw the Master board the plane and welcome us. There was another monk, whose Dharma name I didn’t know, standing beside the Master. After I arrived at the City, I discovered that the Bhikshu in my dream really existed. When I saw the Master, I thought to myself: “The Master has countless disciples; I wonder if he will remember who I am, especially since we have never met.” Then I started introducing myself to the Master, saying, “My name is Agis, and I came from Malaysia.” The Master said, “Your last name is Gan, right?” I was utterly astonished and delighted. During my stay in the City, I asked the Master, “What can I do for the City?” The Master replied, “Don’t work only for the City; work for Buddhism.” When I asked again what particular work I could do, the Master said, “Pull weeds.” “How about my wife and children?” I asked. The Master replied, “I don’t know, either!”
After I went back to Malaysia, I showed pictures of the Water, Land, and Air Dharma Assembly to my students, who praised it greatly. Some of the students in the Buddhist Association also ordered Sutras and books from the City. One of my students, after graduating from school, brought forth the resolve to study the Buddhadharma at the Proper Dharma Buddhist Academy in Taiwan. She has already left the home-life at the City and is now working to propagate the Dharma to benefit living beings.
In November, 1988, the Master again went to Malaysia to propagate the proper Dharma. Later he assigned Dharma Master Heng Su to stay in Malaysia to manage the Buddhist affairs. Some people suggested that we look for some land and establish a Way-place in Malaysia so that it would be convenient for the Master to go and propagate the Dharma. When Upasaka Yang Guo Xin mentioned this project to my wife, she suddenly recalled a dream she had in which the Master had a Way-place in nearby Broaga and was propagating the Dharma there. She and Upasaka Yang went to look at the land there; unexpectedly, it was up for sale, so Upasaka Yang’s brother bought it. Not long after that, we invited Dharma Master Heng Su to my place to give a lecture, which more than seventy people attended. After he left, I was filled with the joy of the Dharma and went to sleep. That night, Wei Tou Bodhisattva appeared in my dream: At first, I was in an old temple and Wei Tou Bodhisattva’s image was covered with dust; then his hand began to emit red light and gradually, the dust fell away from his body and he appeared as a majestic general. The Bodhisattva first wanted me to drink a bowl of clean water; then he grasped me under both armpits and lifted me into the air. The Bodhisattva wanted me to look around. I saw endless space in all directions; under my feet and over my head were colorful clouds never seen before in the world; in front of me was a dragon’s head appearing within the white cloud. As I was puzzling over all of this, I turned my head to look for the Bodhisattva, but he had already disappeared. Then I returned to the old temple again.
From then on, I brought forth deeper faith in the Master’s work of propagating the Dharma. In April of 1992, another delegation from Dharma Realm Buddhist Association came to Malaysia and held a Ten Thousand Buddhas’ Jewelled Repentance Ceremony. I requested a leave of absence from work and worked as a volunteer during the three weeks of the ceremony. After the ceremony, the temple in the Kuala Lumpur moved to Zi Yun (Purple Cloud) Temple. In August, a group from Zi Yun Temple went to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas to attend the second Water, Land, and Air Dharma Assembly. My wife again wanted to go with them. I said that since we had sold our small house, the travelling expenses would not be a problem and she might as well take the four kids and give them a chance to visit the City. Our only worry was getting the visas for an adult with four children. We were a bit apprehensive going to the U.S. Embassy, but the officer was very agreeable and granted the visas.
When they arrived at the City, my children liked it very much and applied to stay and attend elementary and secondary school there. When I received their letter back in Malaysia, I worried about their tuition, but then thought: Perhaps they can study at the City for two or three years until the money runs out and then return to Malaysia. I went to visit them in November that year. Some Dharma Masters suggested that I resign from my job and become a volunteer teacher in the school at the City. My wife also told me that the Master had agreed that I could teach in the school. Therefore I applied to become a student at the Dharma Realm Buddhist University (DRBU), so that I could study the Buddhadharma at the same time that I taught in the school at the City.
In February of 1993, DRBU sent me an approval letter and I started to debate whether or not to go. If I went, I would have to quit my job and go to place with an unknown future; besides, not only I, but my family—all six of us—faced the same problem. It was very hard for me to make a decision. If I didn’t go, I didn’t want them and myself to miss the chance to draw near to the Buddhadharma. After I made up my mind to quit my job, another problem came up: I had to send in my resignation six months in advance, but I could only apply for a student visa two months before I planned to leave the country. What if I quit my job and then my visa application was rejected? What would I do if I had no work and yet couldn’t go to the City? In the end, I still decided to hand in my resignation. In this way, I was busy running here and there for six months. First I received a letter approving my resignation, and later my student visa was also approved. Only then was I able to heave a sigh of relief. My wife also returned from the City, so we hurriedly sold whatever could be sold, gave away the things that could be given, and came to the City with our youngest daughter.
Everything in the City seems so familiar to me. The view behind Unicorn House is exactly the same view of the pine forest that I’d seen in my dream when I attended the Water, Land, and Air Dharma Assembly. I also dreamed that many Bhikshus were walking in single file through the forest, wearing their yellow-orange sashes and looking very adorned. And now I was actually living in Unicorn House.
◆萬佛聖城一景
A scene at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas
After all this, I found out more things. The Venerable Master is so compassionate and magnanimous. For the sake of the Buddhadharma, he undertakes all kinds of hardship and never once complains of weariness. It is because of his incorruptible character and moral fortitude that the entire range of Buddhist activities has been established. Even all the help provided by his disciples is not enough to set up all the activities of Buddhism. In ancient China, the emperors built Way-places for high monks to carry out the translation of Sutras, but nowadays in America, where can you find such an emperor? Where can you find a multitude of disciples to make offerings? How can we maintain so many Way-places, where so many left-home people and laity devote themselves to working for Buddhism without any income? Aside from making possible the propagation of Dharma and the translation of Sutras, the Venerable Master must also worry about and devote his efforts to paying for the expenses of Buddhist activities. This is not a job that an ordinary person would be able to do well.
Dharma Realm Buddhist Association needs more people to contribute their strength and money. Those people who have already come forth to help should unite and work together to establish a better system for our organization and give our organization a stable financial basis. Under the Venerable Master’s leadership, we should make longterm plans and goals to establish a solid foundation for the future development of Buddhism and open the way to a bright future for the proper Dharma.
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