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聯句瘋僧
THE CRAZY MONK OF MATCHING LINES

編輯部 Editorial Department


欣賞對聯是一件賞心樂事,縱橫在千百年的對聯史上,除了蘇小妹和秦少游的絕對眾所皆知之外,應是濟公與未婚妻劉秀秀的巧對,最令人會心一笑,至今仍為大家所津津樂道,沉吟不絕。

提起濟公,是無人不知,無人不曉的。濟公一出娘胎,父親就將他和世交劉員外的女兒秀秀訂了婚約。由於他心性聰明,四歲能吟詩,五歲能作文,是浙江天臺府的神童。所以他從小就和秀秀一起吟詩賦對。殊不知九歲那年,父親被人誣告一狀,說他通金賣國,在一夜之間,落得抄家殺頭、家破人亡的下場。當時濟公正在劉府,才免遭非難。第二天一早,濟公留下偈頌一首:「世俗炎涼實堪笑,多災卻劫多煩惱;何須為此苦和愁,甩手出家萬事了。」劉員外一看,非常痛心,四處派人尋找,可是也找不著。不到一個月,劉員外夫婦也因故去世,當時秀秀才九歲,孤女年幼,只得寄養在娘舅董府中。

秀秀十八歲那年,舅父一心想將她和自己的兒子姑表聯姻,秀秀言明心志說:「若要甥女另擇夫婿,任人皆可,但必須對句聯姻,合格者才可與之婚配;若無人對答得上,寧可待守空閨,終身不嫁。」於是寫了一張招親榜,結果來應試的是人山人海,不論大江南北,士農工商,庶民百姓,貧富俊醜,擠得董府門前水泄不通。可是呢?來對句的一看上聯:「寄寓客家,牢守寒窗空寂寞。」啊!人人搖頭,望望而去。雖有苦思的,也難對得出;因為這十一字都有寶蓋頭,而且切合秀秀身世處境。

有一天,來了一位瘋瘋癲癲的和尚,只見他頭戴破僧帽,身著破袈裟,拖著破芒鞋,手搖一柄破蒲扇,來到董家大門前,提起筆,不假思索,一揮而就,只見上面寫道:「迷途遠避,退還蓮逕返逍遙。」老佣人將箋疊好傳給門內的丫環,轉交給小姐。一聽說小姐有請,濟公正要跨進大門,不料舅舅董員外從外回來,一見大怒,將濟公攔住說:「何處瘋僧,來此胡鬧搗蛋!」濟公笑嘻嘻,搖著蒲扇說道:「寺院小仙,專訪施主寶莊!」董員外一聽,知道這和尚真有兩下子,忙說道:「出家人對詩求偶,無理!」濟公理直氣壯,對了一句:「回鄉子應徵續句,有權!」員外不屑說了:「小小瘋僧,你能有多大能耐?」濟公將破蒲扇一揚,便說:「大大員外,我胸中自有安排!」員外勃然變色,指著和尚就說:「再胡說,老夫把你趕出去!」濟公呵呵笑著說:「獻佳句,小姐將我請進來!」說罷,哈哈笑著,一步一搖,就向中堂走去。

濟公進了中堂,正要往內堂走,這時從裡邊出來一位丫環,手捧著托盤,上有一對子,濟公隨手取來,一看:「月半是胖,月長是脹,彌勒佛捧著肚子逛,你說他是胖還是脹?」濟公如探囊取物,脱口而出:「酉卒是醉,目垂是睡,李太白閉眼端酒杯,你說他是醉還是睡?」丫環將對好的句子送進去,小姐立刻傳話出來,請師父進內院。

濟公拍著破蒲扇,笑呵呵著來到內院,這時候有個小丫環,手拿著上聯正等著,濟公信手拈來,一看:「一個朋字兩個月,二色同樣霜和雪,你說哪個月裡降霜?哪個月裡下雪?」濟公俯拾即是,得其所哉說道:「一個呂字兩個口,二色相同水和酒,你說哪個口裡喝水?哪個口裡喝酒?」小丫環將對好的下聯送進去,不久傳話出來,請師父進繡樓。

濟公剛到門口,來了一丫環,遞來上聯,於是信手拈來,拆開一看:「樓前種竹先生筍。」濟公毫不假思索,振筆疾書,只見上面寫著:「屋後栽花長老枝。」不一會兒,秀秀隔著珠帘,親自面試:「芒碭山,斬白蛇,高祖姓劉我姓劉。」濟公在外面答道:「函谷關,騎青牛,老子姓李我姓李。」秀秀捲起珠帘,只看和尚破衣垢面,結跏跌坐,正閉目養神等面試。

正在一旁磨墨的丫環,不小心,抹了自己一手墨,秀秀見後,即興出了上聯:「侍女磨墨,墨抹侍女一脈墨。」濟公一時對答不出,說來也巧,正在此時樓門口燒茶的老婆婆喊著:「水開了!」濟公急就之章,答了「茶婆滅煤,煤爆茶婆兩眉煤。」秀秀隨口說了:「為奴昨夜聽更,五更三點,三點五更,五五二十五更,點點不差,黑牢囚内憂,秦樓管弦歡,彼歡我憂。」濟公得心應手,文不加點對了:「小僧今日卜卦,八卦六爻,六爻八卦,八八六十四卦,卦卦皆靈,世間人相爭,菩提煩惱空,彼爭我空。」 

秀秀一聽,說道:「師父果然高才,但還請解出我家門前那句上聯的意思。」濟公回答:「『寄寓客家,牢守寒窗空寂寞。』這是指妳親人往生,無依無靠,寄居在舅舅家,空守深閨,盼望妳那未婚夫。」秀秀感慨地說:「師父對的下聯:『迷途遠避,退還蓮逕反道遙。』是勸我莫在紅塵空寂寞,皈依蓮逕,青燈伴木魚,落個終身逍遙自在,是不是?」濟公拍著破蒲扇,笑容可掬說道:「對了!」 秀秀一直覺得這位師父很眼熟,就問:「師父,您到底是誰?」「我乃聯句瘋僧!」「請問師父您在俗時的名諱?」「死去的李修緣。」秀秀聽到「李修緣」三字,就知道和尚是她的未婚夫。

最後,劉秀秀隨著濟公出家去了。

To appreciate matching couplets is a pleasant and joyful thing. Throughout the history of matching couplets, which spans several thousand years, aside from the well-known, excellent matches of Sister Su (Su Xiaomei) and Qin Shaoyou, it is the clever matches of the Venerable Ji and his fiancee Liu Xiuxiu that draw the most understanding smiles, and are still intensely talked about and recited by many today.

Everyone knows who the Venerable Ji is. When he was born, his father arranged his engagement to Xiuxiu, the daughter of a rich man named Liu. The Venerable Ji was very intelligent; he could recite poems at four, compose at five, and was a child prodigy of Tiantai Prefecture of Zhejiang Province. He recited poems and composed verses with Xiuxiu ever since he was little. Unexpectedly, when he was nine years old, his father was falsely charged with treason, and consequently his entire family was killed and their property confiscated overnight. That night, the Venerable Ji was visiting the Lius and escaped the disaster. The next morning, the Venerable Ji was gone, leaving a verse which said, "The way of the world is truly laughable. There are so many disasters and afflictions. Must we grieve and suffer over them? Flinging the hands clean and leaving the homelife settles everything." Mr. Liu's heart was deeply pained when he read the verse, and he sent people out to look for the Venerable Ji, but to no avail. In less than a month's time, both Mr. Liu and his wife died, leaving Xiuxiu, who was only nine. Being a young orphan, she was sent to live with her uncle, Mr. Dong.

When Xiuxiu was eighteen, her uncle wanted to marry her to his own son. Xiuxiu made it clear to him that, "If you want me to forsake my engagement and marry someone else, I will do so, but only to a person who can match my couplet. If no one can come up with a match, then I will remain unmarried." An invitation for the test was posted. People of all walks of life from all over the country—the rich, the poor, the handsome, and the ugly—converged at the uncle's front door in a huge crowd. However, after taking one look at the couplet, most of them shook their heads and left. A few tried very hard but failed to come up with a match. It was hard because each of the eleven characters which made up the couplet had the “precious cover" radical [Translator: This radical has the implication of "home"], and it described Xiuxiu's life and situation well. The couplet said, "Living here as a guest, accompanied only by the empty loneliness of the chilly window."

One day, there came a crazy monk wearing a tattered hat, ragged robe, and worn-out shoes. Holding a fan made of broken rushes in his hand, he walked up to the Dongs' front door. Without any thinking or hesitation, he picked up the brush and wrote an eleven-character match in which cach character had the "walk" radical. The match said, "Having gone far away to escape the path of delusion, I retired to the lotus path of leisure." An old servant folded up the paper and passed it to the servant girl to give to Xiuxiu. Soon the Venerable Ji was told that the Miss was inviting him in. Just when he was about to step over the threshold, Uncle Dong came back from outside. He was furious when he saw the monk. He stopped him and said, "Crazy monk, where did you come from to disturb us?" The Venerable Ji was all smiles; waving the fan, he said, "Just a little genie from a monastery, I specially came to visit your precious home." Hearing that, Uncle Dong knew that this monk was no ordinary person. So he said quickly, "A monk matches the couplet and seeks marriage. It's nonsense!" Venerable Ji said confidently, "A son returns home and answers the match. It's proper!" Uncle Dong said scornfully, "Petty, foolish monk, how able are you?" Venerable Ji raised his broken fan and said, "Great rich man, it's all in my bosom." The rich man was exasperated; he pointed to the monk and said, "Any more nonsense, and I'll kick you out!" Venerable Ji laughed and said, “I present a fine match, and the Miss will invite me in!" With these words, he roared with laughter and swaggered toward the middle section of the house. [Translator: The conversation between Uncle Dong and the Venerable Ji was in matched couplets.]

After entering the middle section, he continued walking toward the inner section of the house. Just then, a servant girl came out holding a tray in her hands. On the tray was a couplet. The Venerable Ji took the couplet and saw that it said, "Half’ and ‘moon' forms 'plump,' 'long’ and ‘moon’ forms 'puffy’, 'Maitreya Buddha strolls holding his belly in his hands. Would you say he is plump or puffy?" Venerable Ji answered as easily as if digging in his pocket to take out things. "The tenth terrestrial branch' and 'end forms 'drunk,' 'eyes' and 'suspend’ forms 'sleep.’ Li Taibai [Note: a famous Chinese poet] holds the wine glass with his eyes closed. Would you say he is drunk or asleep?" The servant girl took the match and went in. Immediately, word came from the Miss asking the Venerable Ji to go into the inner section.

Venerable Ji patted the broken rush fan and walked into the inner section laughing. There was another servant girl waiting for him holding a couplet in her hands. The Venerable Ji took the couplet and saw, "The character 'friend' is made of two copies of the character ‘month’; frost and snow are the same color. Which month would you say has frost and which month snow?" Venerable Ji said easily, "The character 'Lu' [A Chinese surname] is made of two copies of the character 'mouth'; water and wine are the same color. Which mouth would you say drinks water and which mouth wine?" The servant girl again brought the match in. An order soon came out asking the Master to go into the embroidery pavilion.

When he arrived at the door of the pavilion, a servant girl came up and handed him a couplet. He picked it up and saw that it said, "The bamboo planted in front of the pavilion sprouts new shoots." Without hesitation, the Venerable Ji wrote, "The flowers planted in the back of the house grow old branches." A while later, Xiuxiu gave him the test personally from behind a bead curtain, "In Mount Mangyang, he beheaded a white snake. Emperor Gao's surname was Liu, and so is mine." Venerable Ji replied from outside of the room, "Riding on a blue ox, he went through the Han Pass. Lao Zi's surname was Li, and so is mine." Xiuxiu rolled up the bead curtain and saw a monk in rags. sitting in full lotus with his eyes closed, waiting to be interviewed.

At that time, a servant girl who was grinding ink accidentally smeared her hand black. Seeing this, Xiuxiu improvised a couplet which said, "Grinding the ink, the attendant girl's one hand was smeared black by the ink." [Note: In Chinese, the words "grinding," "ink," and "smeared” have the same sound but differ in tone.] Venerable Ji could not come up with a match just then. Coincidentally, the old lady who was boiling tea by the pavilion's door yelled, "The water is boiling." Venerable Ji quickly made the match: "Adding charcoal, the tea lady's two eyebrows were darkened by the explosion of the charcoal." [In Chinese, the words "charcoal" and "eyebrows" have the same sound but differ in tone.] Xiuxiu said casually, "I was listening to the night watcher's drum last night. Five beats is three o'clock, and three o'clock is five beats; five times five is twenty-five beats. Every single beat was on time. The dark prison was melancholy, while Qin Pavilion was filled with music and laughter. They frolicked and I grieved." Venerable Ji matched easily, "This petty monk is casting a horoscope today. Six lines and eight trigrams, eight trigrams and six lines; eight times eight is sixty-four diagrams. Every single diagram is efficacious. Be free of contention in this world. The joy of Bodhi is free of melancholy. The five passes are all empty." 

Upon hearing it, Xiuxiu said, "The Master is truly talented. However, I must still ask you to explain the meaning of the couplet at the front door of our house." Venerable Ji replied, " 'Living here as a guest, accompanied only by the empty loneliness of the chilly window' means that your parents passed away, leaving you alone with no one to depend on. Thus, you lodge with your uncle like a guest. You live alone in a bedroom deep inside the house, pining for your fiance." Xiuxiu said with a sigh, "Is the Master's match, ‘Having gone far away to escape the path of delusion, I retire to the lotus path and return to leisure,’ exhorting me to stop wasting my time feeling lonely in the mundane dust; to take refuge with the lotus path, with a blue light and wooden fish as company, and to eventually attain leisure and be at ease for the rest of my life?" Venerable Ji, full of smiles, waved the broken rush fan and said, "That is correct!" Xiuxiu kept feeling that this Master looked quite familiar. She thus asked, "Master, who are you anyway?" "I am the crazy monk of matching couplets." "May I ask the Master's lay name?" "Li Xiuyuan, the deceased." When she heard the words "Li Xiuyuan," she knew the monk was her fiance.

In the end, Liu Xiuxiu followed the Venerable Ji and left the home-life.

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