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《菩提田》

 

BODHI FIELD

人間正路
THE PROPER PATH IN THE WORLD

■  司陽      文      by Si Yang


真正的科學,不是研究老樹上昨天曾有過幾片樹葉的問題。
True science does not refer to investigating the question of how many leaves
there were on the old tree yesterday.

一轉眼,住在萬佛聖城已近兩年了。講起 佛教來,總覺得心中雜雜的,酸甜苦辣、東 西南北,不知是一種什麼感受?要說的話很 多,反而不知從何說起!想起自己已經走過 的二十多年人生,想起這紛雜迷亂的世界, 想起自己和這世界及人群的恩怨情緣,想起 今後漫長而艱辛的路,似乎也只能沈默!要 做的事情實在太多,要解的緣結也太多了!

我想不僅自己是如此,世界上人人都是如 此,都有一筆算不清的糊塗帳。可笑的是, 大多數人還不自知這處境的危險與悲哀,竟 還熱熱鬧鬧地混個不亦樂乎。我真想揪住每 一個還在迷惑中的人的耳朵,大聲吶喊:你 聽見了嗎?你看見了嗎?一切都在警告你: 這是個泥坑!這是最大最危險的陷阱!

我的學佛經歷並不長,才三年多,理論知 道一點,而修行根本就談不到;我學佛的因 緣,說來也很簡單。我以前非常爭強好勝, 貪心很大,什麼事都要作第一。以前讀書的 時候,總是跟別人比功課,非要比別人強才 好;而且不僅是功課,一切才藝都想拿第一 。這樣下來,小學、中學還好,一路領先, 在市裡、省裡都名列前茅,而且在十六歲就 考上了中國大陸最好的理工大學。但到了大 學,情況就不同了。我們班裡,是集全國的 精英,全班一共三十多人,就有五、六個省 的狀元在裡面(大陸一共有近三十個省), 大家都很優秀。在這樣的環境裡,我的好大 喜功、爭強好勇的野心可是受到了打擊。這 期間,我在心理上、思想上,都經歷了很大 的刺激。於是我開始廣泛地涉獵各種心理的 、哲學的、宗教的書籍和方法理論,思考人 生的真正意義。最初我研究這些的動機,仍 是想找到使自己出類拔萃的妙法,我就研究人的 生理,想如何能使自己記憶力好,過目不忘,如 何能使自己精力充沛、不用老睡覺等。當時大陸 流行特異功能和氣功,我也就帶著很大的貪心去 學習。一直等來到美國留學,我還是在由慾望和 貪求交織的黑暗中間痛苦地摸索著,探求著從種 種的痛苦中解脫的道路。在一個偶然的機會裡, 我得到了一些佛書,一口氣研究下來,當下茅塞 頓開,覺得佛理的確是人間真理。在佛的思想裡 ,困惑我許久的關係人生和存在的重大問題,一 下子得到了完美而徹底的解決。若是在沒有認真 學佛以前,我作夢也不敢想那些問題會有完美的 答案。因為在我看來,按照一般的思惟角度,有 些問題似乎是無解的。這最根本的問題之一就是 :我(人)為什麼活著?諸事萬物的空洞本質, 一直像惡魔一樣纏繞於我的腦際,人生到底求個 什麼?什麼不都是終會蕩然無存嗎?

我是學自然科學的,也曾經醉心於現代科學中 。出於對宇宙真相的好奇,對打著「探求真理」 幌子的現代科學,進行過一番研究。當今的科學 ,雖然已取得了很大的成績,但是在對生命現象 、精神和心理現象的認識方面,在物質的起源方 面,在對超宏觀和超微觀領域的研究方面,都還 很幼稚。在對於氣功和人體的特異功能現象方面 ,就更是如此!甚至其研究方式和思惟框架本身 ,就註定其在這些領域的失敗。而佛法,就其實 質來講,本來就是真正的枓學。佛非常正確地指 明了向自身內部發現和挖掘真理的真正光明的道 路。而事實不也正說明了這一點嗎?在科學昌明 的今天,人類仍然大量地餓死、病死,仍飽受心 靈的創傷、彼此互相的殘殺,仍然充滿精神上的 困惑和迷惘。真正的科學應該首先來關心這些, 而不是一心一意、氣喘吁吁、爭先恐後地研究老 樹上昨天曾有過幾片樹葉的問題。

我願勸告每一個人,不要再在當今的虛假文明 中拼命掙扎了,請趕快用自己寶貴的生命和精力 來發現自己內在的真正的道理,那麼終有一天, 萬事萬物的本來面目,你都會洞悉無餘。

各位,講趕快踏上人間正確光明的大道!

It seems no more than the twinkling of an eye, yet I have been living at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas for almost two years now. Regarding Buddhism, my feelings are an indescribable mixture: sour, sweet, bitter, hot, east, west, south, and north. I have a lot to say but don't know where to begin. Reflecting on the life-path I have walked for more than twenty years, thinking of this chaotic, deluded world, thinking of the affinities of love and hate that connect me to others in this world, and thinking of the long, difficult road ahead, it seems I can only keep silent. There are too many things to be done, too many bonds of affinity to be untied.

I think I am not the only one in this situation; everyone in this world is like this. We all have a book of very confused accounts that can never be settled. It's ironic that most people do not realize the danger and sadness of being in this situation. They still bustle about, happily letting the days pass by. I really want to grab the ear of each one of those still in delusion and yell, "Have you not heard? Have you not seen? Everything is warning you that this is a mud pit! This is the biggest, most dangerous trap!"

I have not studied Buddhism for very long, only a little over three years. I know a bit of the principles, but nothing in terms of practice. My causes and conditions for coming to study Buddhism are quite simple. I used to always want to be the best. I was very greedy; I wanted to be number one in everything. When I was in school, I had to be better than others not only in the academic subjects, but also in arts and crafts. I always came out in first place, from elementary school through high school, both in the city and in the province. At sixteen, I passed the examinations and enrolled in the best science and technology university in China. However, the situation in the university was different. The most elite students from all over the country converged in my class. Among the more than thirty students, there were five or six provincial valedictorians. (There are a total of about thirty provinces in China.) Every student was the best. Under the circumstances, my ambition of being number one was thwarted. During that period, I received great psychological and intellectual stimulation. I began a vast in-vestigation of various psychological, philosophical, and religious texts, looking into their methods and theories, and pondering the true meaning of life. My initial motive was to find a magic bullet that would put me ahead of others. I studied human physiology, trying to figure out how I could achieve a photographic memory and how I could always be full of energy while not sleeping too much, and so on. At the time, psychic power and Qigung were very popular in China, and I went to learn those with a very greedy mind. Up to the time I came to the United States to further my study, I was still groping painfully in the darkness of desire and greed, searching for a way to be liberated from all kinds of suffering. By pure chance, some Buddhist books came into my hands. I finished reading them in no time at all, and suddenly I understood. Buddhist principles are really the truth in the world. I found in the Buddha's philosophy perfect and thorough answers to the questions of life and existence which had been puzzling me for a long time. Before I began studying Buddhism seriously, I didn't even dare to dream of finding perfectly satisfactory answers to those questions, because, seen from the viewpoint of ordinary thinking, some of those questions seemed unresolvable. One of the basic questions is: Why do I (people) live? The essentially empty, hollow nature of all phenomena had been entangling my mind like a demon. What on earth do we seek for in our lives? Doesn't everything eventually disappear?

I am a natural science major, and I was once infatuated with modern science. Due to my curiosity about the truth of the universe, I had looked into some of the research being done in modern science, which claimed to be "searching for truth." Science nowadays, despite its great accomplishments, is still very naive in its knowledge of the phenomena of life, spirituality, and psychology, in the aspect of the origin of matter; and in the investigation of supermacroscopic and submicroscopic realms. It is even more naive in regard to the phenomena of Qigung and psychic power. Its method of research and the framework of its philosophy have already guaranteed its failure in these areas. On the other hand, the Buddhadharma is, in its essence, the true science. The Buddha very accurately pointed out the true, bright path of returning to discover and dig out the truth from within. Hasn't the reality already demonstrated this point? In today's scientfically advanced era, people are still dying of starvation and illness in great numbers; they still suffer mental and spiritual injuries and kill each other; they are still overwhelmed by doubt and delusion psychologically. The first priority of true science should be to take care of these problems, and not just to single-mindedly rush, huffing and puffing, to do research on how many leaves were on the old tree yesterday.

I'd like to advise everyone not to strive and struggle amidst the false culture of the present day. Hurry up and use your precious life and energy to discover the truth of the inner self! Then, one of these days, you will come to thoroughly understand the original face of the myriad things.

Everyone, quickly get on the proper, bright, and great path of the world!

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