萬佛城金剛菩提海 Vajra Bodhi Sea
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學子園地
STUDENTS' CORNER

【懺悔】

REPENTANCE

小沙彌 果展(10歲)
Shramanera (novice monk) Guo Zhan (age 10)

一大早,老師走進教室對我說了 聲早安,而我竟頭也不抬地隨口「 嗯!」的回應,心裡有點不耐煩, 惹得老師斥責「我慢自大」的毛病 又犯了。於是要我看一篇有關《五 十陰魔》的資料,上面所說的,就 是如果你有「狂妄」、「貢高我慢 」的心,你很快就會變成魔了。而 我一天到晚都在貢高我慢,真不知 如何是好?

弘一大師說:「我只希望我的事 情失敗、不圓滿,這才使我常常生 大慚愧!……那我才可努力用功, 努力改過遷善!一個人如果事情做 圓滿了,那麼這個人就會心滿意足 ,洋洋得意,反而增長他貢高我慢 的念頭,生出種種的過失來。」自 從我看了這一段文之後,反省自己 :「我是不是貪求每件事都做得很 圓滿?」沒有錯!我天天都想把每 件事都做得很圓滿。例如我背誦永 嘉大師《證道歌》,一旦背好了, 就禁不住生出貢高我慢心來,洋洋 得意地想:「看啊!我的記憶力多 好啊!你們都比不上我。」唉呀! 真是恐怖!

我希望,今後做所有的事情,我 都能效法師父上人及弘一大師謙沖 自牧的精神。期許自己凡事盡心盡 力,而不苛求十全十美。凡事只問 耕耘,而不計較收穫有多少。日常 三省吾身,把自己看成最小的螞蟻 ,再也不敢貢高我慢,否則就要中 魔了。

Early one morning, the teacher walked into the classroom and said "Good morning" to me. I didn't even raise my head, but just returned his greeting with an "En!" while feeling impatient. The teacher scolded me, saying that I was being arrogant again. I was then asked to read a section of the Fifty Skandha Demon States which says that if one is unrestrained and arrogant, one will become a demon very soon. I am always being haughty and arrogant—I really don't know what to do about it.

Great Master Hong Yi said, "I only wish for failure and imperfection in the things I do, so that I will always feel great shame and remorse! ... Only then will I work harder to change my faults and improve. If one succeeds in everything one does, one will become complacent and conceited. Consequently, one will grow increasingly arrogant and thus develop all kinds of faults." After reading that, I asked myself, "Have I greedily sought perfection in everything I do?" Absolutely! Every day, I want to do everything perfectly. For instance, in memorizing The Song of Enlightenment by the Great Master Yong Jia: once I finished memorizing it, I couldn't help feeling arrogant, thinking very conceitedly, "Look! I have a better memory than all of you!" It's really terrible.

I hope that, from now on, I can imitate the spirit of the Venerable Master and Great Master Hong Yi to be humble and to discipline myself. I hope that I will not be picky and seek for perfection in everything, but will just do my best; and that I will not care about the result, but will just make the effort. Every day, I shall examine myself three times and look upon myself as the tiniest ant. I dare not be arrogant anymore, lest I become possessed by a demon.

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