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萬佛城金剛菩提海 Vajra Bodhi Sea

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《菩提田》

 

BODHI FIELD

一切是考驗
Everything Is a Test

【恆娟師】

Bhikshuni Heng Juan

  

出家前常常在馬來西亞北海佛教會共修。有一天朋友談起,美國有位持戒嚴謹、道風清高、德高望眾的法師,當時覺得這是一位善知識,於是不遠千里來到萬佛聖城。親謁上人後,感受到上人的慈悲以及憐憫眾生的情懷,所以下決心跟隨上人出家。

修道的路程是需要接受考驗的。出家後約一年,因為脊椎受到結核細菌的侵蝕,有一節脊椎腐爛化膿,需要開刀清除,再切下一塊肋骨移植補上,左右兩邊再以鋼釘固定脊髓。這種脊椎移植的手術,很容易傷到中樞神經;若不開刀,一年以後也會癱瘓,而大部分的人在手術後也會有很多後遺症。雖然手術的風險這麼可怕,但我有信心,我相信佛菩薩及師父上人都會加被。

手術前,住院一個月,醫生堅持要我躺在床上修養,不能起來,唯恐走動不小心導至癱瘓。這期間一心持念觀世音菩薩聖號與〈大悲咒〉。果然在佛菩薩的加被下,平安渡過,手術後第五天就可下床走動,八天後就出院了。手術的成功及復原之快速,都令醫生護士訝異,問我為什麼躺這麼久,下來走動也不會頭暈?相信這就是佛法不可思議之處!

回到聖城療養,發現手術所引起的併發症,記憶力、視力和體力等各方面都受到影響。三年來無法隨眾共修,也無法與眾共事,心裡覺得很苦。去年最令我高興的,可以和大眾共修、上課、出坡、工作。因為經過這場災難,體會到人生真是苦,老實修行才是真的,所謂「莫待老來方學道,孤墳盡是少年人。」我相信,以堅定、真誠懇切的心跟著師父上人修行,一定可以達到了生脫死,離苦得樂的願望。

Before I left the home-life, I often cultivated at a Buddhist association in Butterworth, Malaysia. One day, a friend mentioned something about a Dharma Master in the United States who strictly upheld the precepts, was pure and lofty in his practice, had high virtue and was greatly respected. I felt that this must be a good knowing advisor. Therefore, I came from afar to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. After meeting the Venerable Master, I was moved by the Master's kindness, compassion, and sympathy for living beings. Thus, I decided to leave the home-life under the Master.

On the path of cultivation, one is bound to encounter tests. Over a year after I left the home-life, my spine was attacked by tubercle bacillus, and one of the vertebras became infected and rotten. An operation was required to remove the rotten segment, cut a piece of rib bone to fill the space, and secure the spinal column on both sides with steel locks. This kind of spinal bone transplant surgery often damages the central nervous system. However, without the surgery I would become paralyzed within a year. There are usually many post-surgery effects. Even though this operation was tremendously risky, I had faith. I believed the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and the Master would aid me.

I was hospitalized for one month before the surgery took place. The doctors insisted that I remain in bed and not get up, fearing that I might become paralyzed if I wasn't careful in moving about. During this period, I mindfully recited Guanyin Bodhisattva's name and the Great Compassion Mantra. With the help of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, the surgery went smoothly. I got up from bed five days after the surgery, and I left the hospital in eight days. The success of the surgery and my speedy recovery surprised the doctors and nurses. They asked me why I didn't get dizzy walking around, after having been bedridden for so long. I believe this is just the inconceivable wonder of the Buddhadharma!

When I returned to the City to recuperate, I found that the surgery had affected my memory, vision, strength, etc. For three years, I couldn't cultivate with the assembly, nor help out with any work, and this pained my heart. Early last year, my situation greatly improved. What made me happiest was that I could cultivate, study, and work with the assembly. After this ordeal, I realized that life is truly suffering. Earnest cultivation is the only real thing. It's said, "Don't wait until you're old to start cultivating, for in most of the lonely graves there are young people." I believe, if we follow the Master to cultivate with utmost sincerity and earnesty, we'll surely fulfill our vows to end birth and death, leave suffering, and attain bliss.

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