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想想三十多年來，都是為「我」汲汲營營，放逸縱樂，未曾思及行善積德，糊塗地廣造無邊的罪業，猶不自知。一個機緣接觸了某一宗教，也想學習幫人治病，開始吃素，其中更遇了許多奇奇怪怪的事，才知世界上不僅是我肉眼所見的而已。一連串的宗教追尋，終於皈依佛門。
一日閱讀虛雲老和尚的事蹟，號啕大哭，不能自己。後讀宣公上人開示與事蹟，心想：若能跟這位善知識學佛該多好！沒想到因緣成熟，竟然真的從臺灣到萬佛聖城，不但皈依受戒，更進入法大研究所就讀，開展了新的生命，夢耶？幻耶？
重生須要毅力去實踐，藉著無盡的懺悔，與面對自我的勉力掙扎，洗脫過去種種罪業習性。也曾自問：「好好的日子不過，為何要自找苦吃？放下臺灣的事業，每週四小時車程來回往聖城求學，住簡陋的房子，吃簡單的齋菜，孤零零地在冰冷天中趕去大殿，隨眾做早晚課。」多虧太太成就、容忍，這份善因緣得之不易。
歷經種種考驗，更蒙上人適時點化。一日又讀《六祖壇經》，心胸豁然開朗，總算稍稍明白云何西來意呵！毅然決然修遠離行––蒙上人慈允，舉家長住聖城，在清淨聖地，洗滌一身的罪業。
而今，在法水沐浴中，不思明天，但盡本分，隨緣度日，念念歸道。惟每念上人年邁的身影，頓生大慚愧，和尚大悲，恩逾父母，忝為佛子卻為重罪所障，無能代勞一二，云何報佛恩？
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Over the past thirty years, I've been busy only for myself. Indulging in pleasures, I never thought of doing anything good or virtuous. In confusion, I've unknowingly created boundless offenses. Certain conditions led me to encounter a certain religion, to want to cure people's illnesses, and to become vegetarian. Meanwhile, many strange experiences made me realize that there's more in the world than the eyes can see. After searching in several religions, I finally took refuge in Buddhism.
One day, upon reading the biography of Ven. Master Hsü Yün, I cried loudly, unable to stop. Later I read the Dharma talks and biography of Ven. Master Hua and thought, "How great if I could study under this Good and Wise Advisor!" Unexpectedly, the conditions ripened, and I went from Taiwan to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. I took refuge, received the precepts, and enrolled in graduate studies at Dharma Realm Buddhist Uni-versity, beginning a new life. Was this a dream or hallucination?
Starting afresh takes perseverance in practice. Through endlessly repenting and painfully facing and struggling with myself, I've washed away various past offenses and habits. I've asked myself, "Why did you say goodbye to those good old days and ask for all this suffering? You gave up your job in Taiwan to spend four hours each week commuting to the City to study, live in a simple house, eat plain vegetarian food, and rush alone in the cold to join the assembly for morning and evening ceremonies in the Buddha Hall." Fortunately, my wife gave her support and patience. These good conditions are not easy to come by.
After undergoing various tests, I received the Venerable Master's timely advice. One day as I reread the Sixth Patriarch's Platform Sutra, my mind suddenly opened up and I understood a bit of the meaning of "coming from the West"! I resolved to seek seclusion, and the Master kindly allowed my family to live at the City. In this pure, holy place, we'll wash away the karmic offenses which cover us.
Now, bathed in the water of Dharma, I don't worry about the future, but just do my best and accord with conditions. In every thought, I return to the Way. Whenever I think of the Venerable Master's aged figure, I am suddenly overcome with great shame and remorse. The Master's great compassion surpasses even my parents' kindness. Although I am a Buddhist, my heavy karmic obstacles prevent me from taking even a little bit of his burden; how can I ever repay the Buddhas' kindness?
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