此影音檔 0:00:15 – 0:01:55 是上人開示的英譯，
原帶中未錄到上人開示中文部分，故今將英譯部分
回譯成中文，以旁白字幕提供大家參考。

關於此慶生活動，請參考以下"以德服人 弘法西方" 及 "母以子榮"兩篇文章。

以德服人 弘法西方
Using Virtue to Convert People and 
Propagate the Dharma in the West

釋恆實  Shi Heng Sure

有一段時間，本人在朝拜萬佛城的時候，快到三年，是在外邊用功。然後到了萬佛城之後，
那個時候還是保持止語的願，就不講話，已經三年。那個期間，跟父母親、親戚就完全斷絕
了關係了，因為不講話，也不看信，也不寫信什麼的。所以那個時候，就怕我老母親在家裡，
不知道她的兒子是不是被什麼旁門左道給洗腦過的，會不會？或者有的人就傳謠言說，老和尚
是給這些美國弟子吃毒藥了，就把他們給偷了，這些個謠言滿天飛的。豈不知這是一個人因為
感動了，看見老和尚修行，就願意削髮，向一個方向而努力，所以止語了。母親在家裡也不知道
是不是丟了一個兒子了？什麼叫出家了，做了僧寶了，根本不知道，沒看過，沒聽過！
	
所以我到了萬佛城之後，母親怎麼樣也一定要來，親自看看她的兒子，到底變成什麼樣的怪物。
記得很清楚，那天晚上老母親也是比較晚到，天已經黑了。那天本人就到辦公室，在北加州
萬佛聖城辦公室裡面，有人說：「嘿！你不知道嘛！你母親也在這裡了。」我還不可以講話，
所以到裡面去看看。一進去就看到老和尚，師父上人就在那邊，我母親就在旁邊。可以看得出
母親流過眼淚，淚痕還在她的臉上，不過老和尚在和她講話，也是握著她的手，藉著她的手
安慰安慰她，叫她不要哭了，「don't cry!」師父用英文跟她講，不會講英文的一個老師父，
也是用英文來跟她講話，也不用任何人來翻譯。老和尚看我進來，他說：「不用你在這兒，
我會處理這個事情，回去了！」奇怪了，看見母親的表情上雖然有一點好像害怕，不過眼睛裡面
另外有一種表情，是什麼？好像有一種恭敬的心態在裡面。好了，我就走了。過幾天有法會什麼的，
就不見母親，她回去了。
	
再過一、二年，止語期滿了，我就開始講話。那個時候母親怎麼樣呢？老和尚請我母親到萬佛城
來過她五十歲生日，他說第一次在美國有一個比丘的母親到廟上來過生日。很奇怪，就這樣歡迎
母親來過五十歲生日，老和尚叫所有育良小學的女生，給我母親做一個觀音菩薩聖誕節的生日卡，
每個小孩都要畫觀音菩薩像。她那天收了三十多張生日卡，都是有關觀音菩薩的對子或者小詩，
或者慶祝的話，當然母親非常感動，說到底觀世音菩薩我也認識了，然後老和尚請她跟大家講話，
母親上來說：「你們這裡的出家人要注意了，你們的老師父是很有智慧的一個人，他給我這串念珠，
然後他拿出念珠，教我念『南無觀世音菩薩』，我也會念……。」過後，母親跟我講當天的事情，
她說：「你知道嗎？第一天我到了萬佛聖城，我非常地害怕！我都不知道我喝一杯茶，會不會給
放毒了，我喝了以後是不是也會像你這樣也沒頭髮了。我雖然怕，但是我一到了，我什麼都說不
出來，我就哭了，哭了一大場。你的師父也出來了，他就跟我握握手。雖然我心非常著急，他說的話
好像我心裡也懂了，我就好像在心深深的地方，老和尚的意思，我會覺察到了……。」她說奇怪了，
「然後老和尚叫我上他那個小高爾夫球車……」，你們大家知道萬佛城地方大，老和尚是開那個
小噗噗車，用那個高爾夫球車，開來開去，老和尚請她坐那個高爾夫球車。「在那個晚上，他是
正眼看著我說：

You should be happy you have a Bhikshu for a son. Your son has followed me for life after life. 
You haven't lost a son; you've gained a monk. You should be grateful. Your son will have many things to do. 」
（妳應該生歡喜心，妳的 兒子是一個比丘，妳的兒子是生生世世跟隨著我。妳沒有少一個兒子，
妳是多了一個比丘，妳應該感激，妳的兒子有很多事情要做。）

她說老和尚是這麼跟我說的，她說：「你到底覺得他是什麼意思？」
老母親問我，我也不懂。不過可以看得出那天晚上，老和尚若不是用德行感化一個弟子的母親，那是
用的什麼呢？並不是神通，並不是什麼特別功能，用一顆真誠的心腸，雖然母親還是一個信耶穌的
基督教徒，可是那天她的腳步，已經走到佛教的道路上了，也會念「南無觀世音菩薩」，還是帶著念珠念。
	
所以，老和尚有個對聯，是說這種精神，說老和尚怎麼樣在香港、在臺灣、在美國弘法利生：

	上聯是「慈悲普度信者得救成正覺」
	下聯是「過化存神禮之獲福悟無生」


I was on the road for nearly three years, making a pilgrimage to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. 
When I reached the City, I continued to hold a vow of silence. Since I did not speak, or read or 
write letters, I completely cut off all contact with my parents and relatives. I feared that 
my mother was at home worrying that her son had been brainwashed by some cult, for there were rumors 
going around that the Master had kidnapped his American disciples and was giving them drugs. 
Little did she know that I had shaved my head and stopped speaking because I had been touched 
by the Venerable Master's cultivation and wanted to diligently work on my practice. My mother 
probably thought she'd lost her son; she had no idea of what leaving the home-life to join the Sangha 
was all about. 
	
So, when I reached the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, my mother was determined to visit me and 
see what kind of freak her son had become.
	
I remember very clearly that my mother came quite late in the evening, when it was already dark. 
When I went to the office (of the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas), someone said, "Hey, guess what? 
Your mother's here!" Still holding a vow of silence, I went in to take a look. My mother had been 
crying, judging from her tear-streaked face. The Master was speaking to her and holding her hand, 
consoling her and telling her in English, "Don't cry." Although he didn't know English, he was 
speaking to her in English, without relying on a translator. When he saw me, he said, "There's no 
need for you to be here. I can take care of this." Strange! Although my mother looked slightly scared, 
there was something else on her face--an expression of reverence. I left the office. Since I was 
involved in a Dharma session a few days later, I didn't get to see my mother again, and she went home. 
	
After a couple of years, when my vow of silence was over, I began to speak again. At that time, 
the Master invited my mother to come celebrate her fiftieth birthday at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. 
He said it was the first time a Bhikshu's mother had been invited to celebrate her birthday in a monastery. 
The Master asked all the girls in Instilling Goodness Elementary School to make cards for Guanyin Bodhisattva's Birthday 
for my mother. That day, my mother received over thirty birthday cards with pictures, couplets, 
and short verses of Guanyin Bodhisattva drawn and written by the little girls. She was very touched 
and said, "Why, I know who Guanyin Bodhisattva is!" When the Master invited her to speak to the assembly, 
she said, "All of you monks and nuns should know that your elderly Master is a very wise person. He gave 
me a string of recitation beads and told me to recite, 'Namo Guanshiyin Bodhisattva,' and that's what I've done." 
	
Afterwards, my mother related what had happened the first day. "You know, I was very scared the first 
time I came to the City. I thought they might have drugged my tea, and that if I drank it I might also 
become bald like you. When I got here, I just started crying. Then your Master came out and shook hands 
with me. Although I was very nervous, deep down in my heart I seemed to understand what the Master was 
saying to me. Then the Master invited me to sit in his golfcart (which he drove around the City of 
Ten Thousand Buddhas because the place was so big). That evening, he looked straight at me and said, 

You should be happy you have a Bhikshu for a son. Your son has followed me for life after life. 
You haven't lost a son; you've gained a monk. You should be grateful. Your son will have many things to do.

What do you think he meant by this?"
	
I didn't understand either. But if the Master wasn't using virtue to influence my mother, then what 
was he using? Not spiritual powers, that's for sure. He was using plain sincerity. My mother, a Christian, 
had already stepped onto the Buddha path that day. She even recited "Namo Guanshiyin Bodhisattva" and had 
recitation beads.
	
There's a couplet about the Venerable Master which describes his spirit in propagating the Dharma to 
benefit living beings, be it in Hong Kong, Taiwan, or America. It goes:

His kindness and compassion cross over all; 
Believers are liberated and perfect 
	the Right Enlightenment.
Transforming beings wherever he goes, 
	his spirit remains intact;
Those who venerate him obtain blessings and awaken 
	to the Unproduced.


-------------------------------------------------------------------

母以子榮 ----- 一位比丘母親的心裏話
Taking Pride in My Son---- A Bhikshu's Mother's Heartfelt Words
                                   
米特可芙夫人 二00四年在教會的講詞  
A talk given by Mrs. Deborah Metcalf at her church in 2004

我兒克里斯多夫‧克勞里拜學中文之賜，有緣成為一名佛教徒。德維比斯高中畢
業的他，在順利拿到奧克蘭大學學士學位後，成為柏克萊加州大學的「丹佛人」
(丹佛獎學金得主)。在柏克萊，他以翻譯佛經來作他的碩士論文；他一直在找尋
一種信仰，答案竟然在他的翻譯中找到了。
那時在加州，他遇見了宣化上人，上人從中國北方來，迢迢來美弘揚大乘佛教。
這些就讀哈佛、哥倫比亞、柏克萊大學的研究生都願親近上人。時值越戰方酣，
這批聰穎的青年男女，有許多問題在他們的信仰中無法得到解答，極欲另尋安身
立命之道。
上人和弟子們先在舊金山米遜區買下一棟老舊的工廠建築物，改建成「金山聖寺」
──成為往後洛杉磯、卡加利(加拿大)、亞伯達(加拿大)、馬來西亞、澳洲、台
灣等為數二十多所道場的發軔。
	我在1985年才對佛教有了較多的認識，那時是上人邀請我來「萬佛聖城」
和恆實一起慶祝我61歲生日。
	恆實受了具足戒之後，偕同另一位師兄弟，為了促進世界和平，一起沿著加
州海岸公路，從洛杉磯「三步一拜 ── 每走三步，伏地一拜」，到舊金山以北
的萬佛聖城，歷時兩年九個月，全程八百多英哩。那段時間，加上往後三年，恆
實都發願禁語，唯有講經說法才開口；以至我有五年沒收過他的信，因為他的禁
語亦包括了信函聯絡。
懷著很大的期待，我從俄亥俄飛往加州一遊；有一義工居士開車來舊金山機場接
我，一路將我載到聖城。
	雷根主政加州之前，這片佔地廣達488英畝，有75棟建物散置其中的園區，
本是一所州立療養院。之後新法頒布，明令禁止病人藉躬耕自食、自己維修器材
來調養身心，結果，他們因被逼回原有的小房間而病情加劇，致使治療加倍。由
於醫院需要雇用更多人手來料理院務，這變成州政府一個沉重經濟負擔，導致它
關門大吉。與此同時，州政府開始進行一項「在家看護」計畫，即病人必須還歸
家中護理；計畫實施的結果，使得許多病人流浪街頭，成為無家可歸者，產生了
許多嚴重的社會問題。
	後來佛教徒買下這個園區，著手將它分闢成一座寺院、一所可以容納從幼稚
園到12年級的學校、一個老人安養之家、一所學院以及翻譯中心。追隨老和尚
的弟子，有一項首要任務：翻譯佛教經典。這些梵文寫就的佛經，早在佛教盛行
之初，就已被翻譯成中文；如今，這批有的甚至已得到梵文博士學位的僧尼，正
努力和其他譯經中心聯手，將這些中文佛經再轉譯成14種語文。
	雖然我本人是忠實的基督教衛理公會教徒，可是我也渴望儘量去了解那吸引
我兒子全付身心興趣，使他願意為之奉獻生命的宗教。恆實也曾是葉普渥斯城（愛
荷華州）一名活躍的衛理公會教徒呢！
	當汽車駛入翹著飛簷的萬佛城山門時，我感覺自己好像正在走向一個陌生的
國度；我知道我沒法兒了解這兒所說和所做的，也不清楚人家會對我有什麼樣的
期待。進了大門，車沿山丘上行，我可以看到高矗的屋頂下有一尊銅鑄大佛，旁
邊置有一口大銅鐘。
	我希望能再見到頭一次來見到的那些僧尼。這些聰慧而且受過良好教育的尼
師，也跟和尚一樣誓願獨身；她們同樣身著棕色衣袍，剃光頭髮。此時正是北加
州的11月，天候已然轉冷，尼師雖然罩上深藍色帽子，可是依然柔化不了她們
臉上嚴肅的表情。起初，我對於女子竟可完全拋棄她的女性特質這一點，頗不以
為然；可是當我開始理解她們之後，我已能超越樸實無華的外在，去理解這些肩
負著使命，不再在意世俗表相的婦女。 
我的女接待果悟，是一位越南籍的老菩薩，幫我「適應那兒的水土」。她領我去
一間客寮安頓，以前是醫院職員的居住區，現在改作客寮。每年皆有許多亞洲人
來萬佛聖城潛居靜修，年長耆英則是專程來學佛的。
每天上午11點，果悟居士帶我上萬佛殿；殿中僧尼分東西二序站列，在進日中
一食之前，須先上供。賓客如有需要，亦可到齋堂另進早晚餐。
果悟給我一冊內有中英文音譯的課誦本，讓我照著唸。當我們禮拜諸佛、從此佛
名轉到彼佛名時，法師都會敲一下磬。如果我在唸誦時沒跟上，常有人輕柔地為
我指出來。他們默默中給予的關照，令人好窩心。我發覺身為一名三步一拜行者
的母親，我受到的是一種出乎意料之外的禮遇。 
	20分鐘的課誦完畢，我們尾隨比丘們一路邊誦佛號，一路朝齋堂走去。齋
堂前方，上人端坐於正中平台，男女眾分列兩側，左邊約25位僧，和等數男賓，
右邊50位尼師，及女賓亦約50人。上人體形結實，著一襲黃色僧袍；他的相貌，
截然不同於我所見過的任何人，他的表情流露著一種毫無矯飾，卻充滿睿智的慈
悲。介紹認識之後，我閃過一種奇怪而悚然的感覺：他知道我在想什麼！居士先
供養上人，比丘和男眾則列隊到自助餐臺取食，女眾在後。
	第一次用晚齋，我只認識一小部分菜餚，還有一些白菜、米飯，以及幾盤用
替代牛肉、雞肉和其他肉類的豆腐製品所炒的一些我不認識的蔬菜。佛教的戒律
禁止殺生，不止人，動物也包括其中，所以這些僧尼都是嚴格的素食者。果悟跟
我解說每道菜的成分，還幫我篩選適合西方人口味的菜餚。對我胃口者取，不對
者去；喜歡哪道菜，那道菜就有人幫我多上。我無菜不嘗，免不了在盤子裡留下
些剩菜。我本來還不知道這麼做不對，直到跟果悟排隊來到兩個用來洗碗盤的水
壺前，一個盛著浸泡餐具的清潔劑水，另一個裝著用來沖洗的清水。我按部就班
前，有人得來幫我清理我盤中的殘餚；那當兒我明白了，顯然，佛教徒不浪費食
物的。
	我們在靜默中用餐，這使我發現：它能令我集中心思在食物上。佛教徒不僅
食而品其味，更念及食物「粒粒皆辛苦」。他們省思：自己何德何能，得以享用
這些食物，以及貪欲如何毒害心靈；他們視食物為療飢的藥石，他們受此食以助
修道，來利益眾生。
有一天齋畢，上人開始用中文開示，一位尼師英譯。上人說：「恆實的母親來這
裡跟大家一起慶祝她的生日。」一尼師當即為我端來一個素糕；沒想到上人也留
意到我們西方的習俗了，我更肯定他會入境隨俗地接受美國風俗。
	往後的開示，使我深受感動。一名美國尼師、一名亞洲賓客和我三個人應邀
各自談談我們的兒子。尼師出家前有個兒子，我和那位馬來西亞來的母親，則同
樣有個出家為僧的兒子；儘管我們的年齡和文化背景有別，但我們那份愛兒之心
和失落之感卻無二致。
馬來籍母親和我都擔心：這個帶走我們兒子的宗教，可會澆熄他們年輕人的滿腔
熱忱？我雖然一點不懷疑恆實的誠心，可是在那樣一個外道充斥的時代，我們做
母親的難免會質疑上人的出發點在於利他。如今，住在佛寺的這幾天，使我發覺：
我對法界佛教總會的種種不信任和疑慮，其實都是自己惹出來的，都與實際不
符。認識上人後，我更知道自己錯估了他的用心，以及恆實的見識。我同意尼師
那句話：「現在啊，該換你跟兒子學習了！」
	當上人問我有什麼要對大家說的時候，我藉機替所有僧尼的母親囑咐他們：
「當你們義無反顧地去追求你們的新生活時，別忘了你們在家的父母，他們也想
分享你們的經驗，一如他們曾分享你們生命中的每個階段那樣！」我希望我那「寫
信給媽媽」的叮嚀，能入其耳、貫其心。
	當上人結束今天的說話時，午齋也就隨之結束了。我們再度排班回到大殿三
皈迴向。我們行頭手接足禮，拜佛多次。飽餐之後，能夠運動運動，還真不錯！
	一位基督教牧師請宣化上人解說拜佛的好處，他這麼回答：「拜佛有如宣誓
效忠國旗。國旗是…一塊布片，而代表國家。身為公民，你用宣誓效忠，表達尊
敬及認同你的公民身分。」
「在佛龕上的這尊佛像絕對不是神，也不是聖人。這只是一種表法，用一種藝術
化的形象，來顯示過去某位已經證得無上智慧的人；佛因為修習自性，而達到覺
悟的境界。這尊像，是象徵他已充分發掘人性的潛能，及他對至善與大悲的追求。
當你禮佛時，象徵性地，你是在禮拜你自己本來具足大智慧之潛能。再說，禮佛
也是一種很好的運動，絕非迷信或消極的偶像崇拜；拜佛是一種對真理的修持，
是積極而主動的。」
為示慶生，及我的來訪，一天，出家眾們安排了一個放生儀式。信徒們先在舊金
山買下一些將入餐館油鍋沸湯的生龜，裝入木箱，運回聖城，擺在大殿待放。佛
像前，木箱裡的烏龜瘋也似地不停抓呀爬呀；可是當磬聲一起，大眾開始唱誦，
烏龜就變得安靜下來了，好像這些聲音能夠撫慰牠們似的。大眾誦放生儀規迴向
給它們，因為佛教徒相信放歸生路，這些烏龜能繼續修到一種比較高等的生命，
而免於無止盡的生死循環。
	儀式完畢，果悟駕車帶我來到附近的湖準備放生。以前我經手的烏龜，沒有
一個大過一塊錢銀幣的，可是現在的每只都有餐盤那麼大，都說好每人各放一
只。我挑了一隻看起來還算溫馴的，一抓起它身軀的中段，它那小小的四肢就變
成了四個旋轉不已的轉軸，我得當心別讓它勾住我的衣褲。它太渴望就水了，所
以我必須快快將它放下。當我把它一放入水中，見它立刻消失在混濁的湖水時，
我以為放生已經結束了。
	果悟說：「看哪，它們在謝我們呢！」
	我原以為她在開玩笑，但就在離岸約模50呎遠的湖中，冒出了一些小頭，
是烏龜在轉頭回望我們，然後，再度消失。
	果悟說：「繼續看啊！」
	一兩分鐘之後，烏龜的頭又浮現在湖面更遠處，轉過頭，回顧我們。我真不
敢相信。
	果悟說：「它們會謝三次。」確實如此。
	這些事我無法解釋，但知道事情確實這麼發生過。往後，只要我一看到菜單
上寫著「烏龜湯」，就會想起那次稱心的善行。
	到聖城住了三天，我訝異地察覺到：自己對往日穿戴的服飾，不再那麼感興
趣了。我的確喜歡色彩與式樣，但在這樣寧靜的地方，它們已沒像以前那麼重要
了。這是頭一回，我對棕色樸素的僧袍有了好感。歸去前，再度與上人透過翻譯
一談，也多了一層對佛教的了解。
	他告訴我：「你們的上帝是個有嫉妒心的上帝，他說：『除了我，你們不能再
有其他的上帝。』佛說你可以一面信你的上帝，一面也信佛。你的上帝於你有如
家長，你是他的孩子；如果你犯錯，得要他原諒你。佛和你，就像大人對大人式
的對等關係；你做啥壞事，你得自己負責。」
	佛教徒的慈悲和善深深烙在我的腦海中，他們過著一種令我敬慕的宗教生活
方式。
	恆實已經找到一種既充實又有益的生活方式。去年，他獲得加大柏克萊分校
的佛學博士學位，目前正掌理柏克萊佛寺，並在世界宗教研究中心任教。他是「開
創宗教聯合會」的理事之一；也是佛教書刊的作者，並在柏克萊「神學研究院」
講授孔子學說和佛教教義。他到美國和亞洲國家四處演講。
	我知道他絕不會結婚而讓我抱孫子了，這點雖然令人遺憾；可是他所影響的
孩子，遠比他當上一個父親所能影響的孩子，要多得多。這使他比我所認識的任
何人都快樂！說句心裏話，我為我兒子是一位佛教徒而自豪。


My son, Christopher Clowery [Editor's note: Dharma Master Heng Sure's lay name], 
became a Buddhist after studying Chinese, first at DeVilbiss High School, then at 
Oakland University where he earned his Bachelor's degree and at the University of 
California at Berkeley where he was a Danforth Fellow. He translated the Buddhist 
scripture for his Master's thesis at Berkeley and found that it gave him answers to his 
search for a faith.
At this time, he met a Buddhist Monk, Ven. Master Hsuan Hua, who came to 
California frm Northern China to make Mahayana Buddhism an active religion in this 
country. He gathered around him graduates from Harvard, Columbia and Berkeley 
Universities. The Vietnam war was in progress and all these bright men and women 
were looking for answers to spiritual questions which their religious teachings had not 
satisfied. 
The Abbot and his followers purchased an old factory building in the mission district 
of San Francisco and established Gold Mountain Monastery -- the first of more than 
twenty monasteries or Way Places, which now flourish from Los Angeles to Calgary, 
Alberta and in Malaysia, Australia and Taiwan. 
I learned more about Buddhism in 1985 when the Venerable Abbot (Venerable Master 
Hua is referred to as the "Abbot" throughout this article) invited me to celebrate my 
sixty-first birthday with Heng Sure at the City of 10,000 Buddhas.
After Heng Sure's ordination, he and a fellow monk made an 800 mile "Three Steps, 
One Bow" pilgrimage up the California coastal highway, from Los Angeles to City of 
10,000 Buddhas, north of San Francisco to promote world peace. They made a full 
prostration to the ground every three steps. This spiritual journey took two years and 
nine months to complete. For those years and three more Heng Sure kept a vow of 
silence, speaking only the Buddhist Dharma, or scripture. I had not received any 
letters from him for five years because his vow of silence also included 
correspondence by mail. 
With a great deal of anticipation, I flew from Ohio to California for this visit. A lay 
volunteer at the monastery met me at the San Francisco Airport and drove me to the 
City of 10,000 Buddhas.
The campus of 75 buildings on a 488-acre area had been a state hospital until Reagan 
became the governor of California. New laws controlling patients' rights forbade the 
patients to take care of themselves by growing their own food and maintaining the 
facility. As a result, they were fastened back in their rooms where they suffered from 
more mental problems and required more treatment. Additional staff had to be hired to 
care for everything, and the whole system became such a financial burden to the state 
that it had to be closed down. The state began a new program of Home Care, which 
meant the patients were released to their families. Many of them wound up on the 
streets, creating the enormous problem of homeless people.
 When the Buddhists purchased the campus, they established a monastery, a school 
for children, kindergarten through 12th grade, a home for Senior Citizens, a college 
and also a translation center. One of the chief activities of the Abbot's followers in the 
United States is the translation of the Buddhist sutras, or scriptures. They were last 
translated from Sanskrit into Chinese in the early centuries of Buddhism. The monks 
and nuns, some of whom have their doctorates in Sanskrit, have expanded their efforts 
now into fourteen languages, with many other translation centers.
I am a life-long Methodist, but I was eager to learn all I could about the religion that 
had captured my son's interest so completely that he had dedicated his life to it. Heng 
Sure had been an active Methodist at Epworth too. 
As we drove through the impressive pagoda-roofed Mountain-gate of the City of 
10,000 Buddhas, I felt as if I was approaching a foreign country; I knew I wouldn't
understand everything that was said or done, and I didn't know what was expected of 
me. Up the hill from the gate I could see a large bronze sculpture of a Buddha under a 
high roof and beside it, an enormous bronze bell.
I looked forward to seeing again the nuns and monks I had met on my first visit. The 
nuns are bright, well-educated women who have taken vows of celibacy, as the monks 
have. They wear the same brown robes as the monks and their heads are also shaved. 
It was November and in the cool climate of Northern California, they wore Navy 
watch caps, but the caps didn't soften their severe look. At first, I found it a problem 
that a woman could reject her femininity so completely. Then as I began to know 
them, I saw past the plainness, to women who had such a mission in life, nothing 
superficial mattered anymore.
Gwo Wu, an older Vietnamese layperson, who helped me acclimate to the new 
environment, attended to me as my hostess. She settled me down at one of the 
cottages, which previously housed the staff and now are used as guest-houses. Each 
year many Asian visitors come to CTTB for retreats and elder hostellers come there to 
learn about Buddhism.
Every day at 11 a.m. Gwo Wu took me to the Hall of 10,000 Buddhas where monks 
gathered on one side, nuns on the other, to recite prayers before their single meal of 
the day. Guests could go to the dining hall for breakfast and dinner if they liked. 
My hostess gave me a book of the prayers to follow along in phonetic Mandarin 
Chinese and English. When they changed from one deity to another in their worship, 
the leader beat a gong as well. If I lost my place, someone always gently pointed it out 
to me. Their quiet awareness of others was touching. I found as mother of the one 
who had done Three Steps, One Bow or San Bu Yi Bai, I was shown a deference that 
was totally unexpected. 
At the end of the twenty minute service, we filed out in a line following the monks, 
chanting as we walked to the dining hall down the hill. In the dining hall, the Abbot 
sat on a raised platform in the center of one wall with about twenty five monks and as 
many male guests to his left and about fifty nuns and female guests to the right. The 
Abbot was a stocky man in a gold-colored robe. His face was unlike anyone I had 
ever met. His expression was one of compassion that was guileless, yet wise. After 
getting acquainted with him, I had the eerie feeling he knew what I was thinking. Lay 
people served the Abbot first, then the monks and male visitors went through a 
cafeteria line. The nuns and female guests followed. 
At the first dinner, I recognized little on the buffet but some bok-choy, rice and tofu 
prepared to resemble veal, chicken and other meats in several dishes of unfamiliar 
vegetables. The Buddhist precept that prohibits killing applies to killing animals as 
well as humans, so the monks and nuns are strict vegetarians. With each dish of 
Chinese food, my hostess explained the contents, urging me to take some dishes and 
rejecting others as too strange for my Western tastes. If I indicated I liked something, 
someone brought me more of it. I tried everything, but I still had some food left on 
my plate at the end of the meal. I didn't realize this was a faux pas until I followed my 
hostess in a line that led to two large dishwashing kettles. We were to dip our plate 
first in the soapy water, then the clear water. Someone had to clear mine before I 
could follow the routine. Obviously Buddhists waste no food.
We ate our meal in silence. I discovered it allowed me to concentrate on the food in a 
way conversation prohibits. Buddhists not only savor each nuance of flavor, they 
contemplate the work it took to bring the food to the table. They consider whether 
their conduct merits receiving it, and how greed is a poison to the mind. They think of 
food as medicine to cure the illness of hunger. They take the food to help them 
cultivate the Way to benefit all sentient beings. 
One day when we had finished the meal, the Abbot began speaking in Mandarin 
Chinese as one of the nuns translated into English. He announced, "Heng Sure's 
Mama is with us to celebrate her birthday." It was the signal for one of the nuns to 
bring out a cake for us to enjoy. I had not expected the Abbot to observe our Western 
tradition. It reassured me that he was ready to adopt American customs.
The exchange afterward touched me on a deeper level. One of the American nuns, an 
Asian guest and I were asked to talk about our sons. In her earlier life, the American 
nun had a son. The Malaysian mother and I both had sons who had left home to 
become monks. We were of different ages and had come from different cultures but 
we had the common bond of a mother's love for her child and we shared the same 
sense of loss.
The Malaysian mother also had my concern for our sons being swept up in beliefs we 
felt might exploit their youthful zeal. I never doubted Heng Sure's sincerity, but it was 
the era of cults and both the other mother and I had been skeptical that the Abbot 
motives were altruistic. My stay at the monastery convinced me that my mistrust and 
doubt about the Dharma Realm Buddhist Association were of my own making, rather 
than being based on reality. I realized, after getting to know the Abbot, I had 
misjudged his purpose and Heng Sure's judgment. I agree with the nun who 
said, "Now it is time for you to learn from your son." When the Abbot asked if I had 
something to say to the assembly, it was my opportunity to give the monks and nuns a 
message from all their mothers. I said, "While you are enthusiastic and zealous in 
your pursuit of your new way of life, remember that your parents at home want to 
share your experience, just as they have shared every other phase of your lives." I 
hoped my "write to your mother" message reached their hearts as well as their ears.
After the Abbot's message for the day, the meal ended and we once again walked in 
single file to the Buddha Hall to say another group of prayers. We bowed in full 
prostration, hands and forehead to the floor, many times. I found this was an ideal 
exercise after eating a large meal.
A Christian missionary asked Master Hsuan Hua to tell him the benefit of bowing. 
The Abbot explained, "Bowing is like pledging allegiance to the flag. The flag is a 
piece of cloth that symbolizes the nation. As a citizen, you demonstrate your respect 
and acknowledge your citizenship by pledging allegiance." "The image of the Buddha 
on the altar is clearly not a divinity or a Sage. It is a representation, an artistic 
image  that points back to a human who realized the highest wisdom. The Buddha 
cultivated his nature to an awakened state. The image symbolizes his realization of 
humanity's potential and aspiration for the highest goodness and compassion. When 
you bow, symbolically you honor your own potential for great wisdom. Furthermore, 
bowing is good exercise. It is not idol worship, which is superstitious and passive. 
Bowing to the Buddha is a practice of a principle; it is dynamic and active."
One day the monks arranged for a liberating life ceremony, planned in honor of my 
visit. Buddhists in San Francisco purchased turtles destined for the city's restaurants 
and brought them in crates to the monastery. They were carried into the Buddha Hall 
and laid in front of the altar where they scrabbled and clawed the wooden crates 
frantically. When the gong sounded for the prayers and the chanting began, the turtles 
became very quiet, almost as if they were soothed by the sound. The prayers were for 
their well-being because the Buddhists believe that by not ending their lives, the 
turtles can continue to strive toward a higher form, rather than having to start over 
again in the endless cycle of birth and death.
After the ceremony, my hostess drove me to a nearby lake where the turtles were to be 
released. I had never held a turtle larger than a silver dollar, and these were the size of 
dinner plates, but each person there was expected to pick one up and carry it to the 
water. I chose one that looked docile, but as I took hold of him "midships", his little 
feet became four rotors that I had to keep from clawing my shirt and slacks. He was as 
anxious to gain the water as I was to put him down, so it was a quick trip. When I 
eased him into the water, he disappeared beneath the muddy water immediately and I 
thought the ceremony was finished. 
Gwo Wu said, "Watch. They will thank us." I thought she was joking, but out in the 
lake about fifty feet, little heads began to pop up. The turtles turned, looked at us, and 
disappeared again.
Gwo Wu said, "Keep watching." In a minute or two, farther out in the lake, turtle 
heads appeared again, turned, and looked back. I couldn't believe it.
Gwo Wu said, "They will thank us three times" and they did.
I can't explain it; I just know it happened, and it was a very satisfying act of kindness 
that I enjoy remembering when I see turtle soup on a menu.
During my three-day visit at the monastery, I was surprised to realize I was not as 
interested in the clothes or jewelry I usually wear. I love color and pattern, but it did 
not hold the same importance for me in that serene setting. For the first time the 
brown, plain robes of the Buddhists were logical. Before I returned home, the Abbot 
and I had a conversation through an interpreter. It gives you one more aspect of his 
religion.
He told me, "Your God is a jealous god who says, 'You shall have no other gods 
before me.' The Buddha says you can believe in your God and Buddha too. Your God 
is like a parent to you, his child. If you do something bad, he forgives you. Buddha 
has an adult-to-adult relationship with you. If you do something bad, you are 
accountable for your actions." The many kindnesses of the Buddhists made an 
impression that has stayed with me. They live their religion in a way that I admire.  
Heng Sure has found a way of life that is both productive and rewarding. Last year he 
received his Doctorate in Buddhism at the University of California. He is now the 
Director of the Berkeley Buddhist Monastery and he teaches at the Institute for World 
Religions. He is a director of the United Religions Initiative; he is a published author 
of books and articles on Buddhism and he has taught courses on Confucian and 
Buddhist Ethics at the Graduate Theological Union at Berkeley. He lectures in the 
United States and in Asian countries.
 I know he will never marry or give me grandchildren, which is disappointing, but he 
is influencing many more children than he ever would as a father. It makes him 
happier than anyone I know, and I can honestly say I am proud that my son is a 
Buddhist.